You’ve Got a Chip on Your Soldier
Yearning, on dog days, for the coco locos of seaside Mexico
—James Schuyler
Let’s argue which city in Italy. Let’s take walks
between rainstorms. Let’s ride the ninja bus
to Avenue Q.
2. (lesson: re-learn how to correspond)
Argue over drinks. Decide on the water. Summer
jam, a boysenberry, French octopi, a plateful of
ravioli halves.
I used to imagine I’d be a soap opera star. I like the idea
of thinking about what I used to imagine (thanks Guy
Birchard). I used to imagine getting out of a money crunch
by selling my stamp collection.
There’s a terribly annoying man a couple tables over
talking about how all models are lesbians.
The cat walks in. I keep saving the
end for tomorrow. Type a quick note.
Type another. Drink the fuzzy water.
over two decades in the making. a timeshifting autobiographical poetry collage w/photography. a diaristic, nearly "daily writing" (ad)venture. new pieces are posted most days.. **new and in progress** -- recordings of each poem are being added. these are read by the author & posted to each poem's page. --Del Ray Cross (contact delraycross at gmail)
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
mdxii
What fight?
All of you people aren’t
wonderful. Just so you know.
And I’m just a sleep-deprived
ditz reading bedtime stories.
It’s impossible to find
last night’s wit (& other
drunken nights). One
date down, another
over smoke. Recently,
a drunken evening
stroking out. So
flirty I bought it
in the mouth.
He thinks &
feels & clarifies.
Blue plaid, sunshine.
All of you people aren’t
wonderful. Just so you know.
And I’m just a sleep-deprived
ditz reading bedtime stories.
It’s impossible to find
last night’s wit (& other
drunken nights). One
date down, another
over smoke. Recently,
a drunken evening
stroking out. So
flirty I bought it
in the mouth.
He thinks &
feels & clarifies.
Blue plaid, sunshine.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
mdxi
Retribution
He grew a new set of
weeds on his head.
Old by proxy or
hair-restoring foam?
This morning is so
nasty compared to
Starbucks. I’m
cold reading
the man about town
circa 1964. This
restroom sucked
my cock. A wise
respect for a
stormy presence.
He grew a new set of
weeds on his head.
Old by proxy or
hair-restoring foam?
This morning is so
nasty compared to
Starbucks. I’m
cold reading
the man about town
circa 1964. This
restroom sucked
my cock. A wise
respect for a
stormy presence.
Friday, October 28, 2011
mdx
Vibrations
1.
“If you have a thing
for Buddha then I say
go for it.”
2.
“Are you the
hot pecker
of my dreams?”
3.
The last issue
of Nest magazine.
4.
“I love you.
Next time
flirt back.”
1.
“If you have a thing
for Buddha then I say
go for it.”
2.
“Are you the
hot pecker
of my dreams?”
3.
The last issue
of Nest magazine.
4.
“I love you.
Next time
flirt back.”
Thursday, October 27, 2011
mdix
Are you really wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt?
Tonight’s the night for introspective table talk
and crushing out on rockstars. Slink into the
sushi reception, avoiding the exhibit. Last night
a simple life of butterfly and bird, of playing
UNO and sleeping on the floor. Initially, it
looks like a guy and a girl dancing. And then
you look closer and the girl has a smoking gun
in her hands; the guy a knife. You manage
quite an accumulation of friends. The beautiful
boy at Starbucks paused over it for a while
and said “I don’t quite understand the nature
of their relationship.”
Tonight’s the night for introspective table talk
and crushing out on rockstars. Slink into the
sushi reception, avoiding the exhibit. Last night
a simple life of butterfly and bird, of playing
UNO and sleeping on the floor. Initially, it
looks like a guy and a girl dancing. And then
you look closer and the girl has a smoking gun
in her hands; the guy a knife. You manage
quite an accumulation of friends. The beautiful
boy at Starbucks paused over it for a while
and said “I don’t quite understand the nature
of their relationship.”
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
mdviii
What’s with skulking? I like the ones
more experimental. Today, everytime
I stand (I am usually sitting), I get the
feeling I’m going to pass out. Not your
average pass-out feeling. And as we
learned on Friday night, I have never once
passed out. So I drink lots of liquids and
have the leftover wonton soup from last
night while reading Oh my chin-chin china
chow dog for graceless dinner bong hoop
(James Schuyler) [roll eyes] and send
sanka card. I’m so lunky and happy.
more experimental. Today, everytime
I stand (I am usually sitting), I get the
feeling I’m going to pass out. Not your
average pass-out feeling. And as we
learned on Friday night, I have never once
passed out. So I drink lots of liquids and
have the leftover wonton soup from last
night while reading Oh my chin-chin china
chow dog for graceless dinner bong hoop
(James Schuyler) [roll eyes] and send
sanka card. I’m so lunky and happy.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
mdvii
I am concerned with this alcohol of approaching smoke
—Michael Palmer
No. I’m just trying to milk the present one
until its last dying breath. This page is
out of touch with reality. He may have been
having a little fun with someone else. I
pour a glass of lemonade into the silence,
happy if they are happy, having a feeling,
knowing the truth. We share an afternoon
discussing the word inconsistent. I want
to take a bath, to clip my nails, to drink
lemonade. I know I’m straddling the
frame a little bit. I wonder if I’m
somewhat reasonable. Beautiful
day of secret stuff.
—Michael Palmer
No. I’m just trying to milk the present one
until its last dying breath. This page is
out of touch with reality. He may have been
having a little fun with someone else. I
pour a glass of lemonade into the silence,
happy if they are happy, having a feeling,
knowing the truth. We share an afternoon
discussing the word inconsistent. I want
to take a bath, to clip my nails, to drink
lemonade. I know I’m straddling the
frame a little bit. I wonder if I’m
somewhat reasonable. Beautiful
day of secret stuff.
Monday, October 24, 2011
mdvi
My Latest Darkness
My latest darkness is about love.
I don’t remember what I was going
to say. Except PARTNER. Then
coming up cold with your own
decision (i.e., counting with a
hand, counting with a foot, etc.).
I’m reading through the 1st few
pages. I’m cold. I’m so COLD.
I keep looking around for the pur-
ported cruising, after the purported
hotness. I do not seem to be see-
ing or feeling any of it. Just coffee &
tea with no cream or additives. So I
move to San Francisco where it’s
always a month before the bubble
bursts (one hand plus one foot)
and a cold evening with one more
episode of Paris Hilton. With Paris
I find myself, usually with butterflies
and birds. This time it’s an epiphany
of BLANK. I conjure a life-size
cardboard cut-out, this bold blank
vision, a representation of Paris
in the flesh, how far it goes beyond
representation. Weeks pass. It appears
as fact with no further effort from me,
my clairvoyance capacitated into the
cardboard flesh of a cut-out reality,
right in my very own living room at a
‘surprise party’. It’s my 38th birthday
but there is no surprise, of course. She
even and also lives in my television
all day long. With the waif of a crooner
who’d burned holes into my eyeballs
with a voice that defied airwave infinity
in the 1980s. For an entire decade, ghosts
of his descendants blankly cruised each
farm where pigs were bred in Alma, Ark-
ansas. It’s the Summer of Love. I’m del-
ivered 13.7 miles away by a drunk doctor.
My latest darkness is about love.
I don’t remember what I was going
to say. Except PARTNER. Then
coming up cold with your own
decision (i.e., counting with a
hand, counting with a foot, etc.).
I’m reading through the 1st few
pages. I’m cold. I’m so COLD.
I keep looking around for the pur-
ported cruising, after the purported
hotness. I do not seem to be see-
ing or feeling any of it. Just coffee &
tea with no cream or additives. So I
move to San Francisco where it’s
always a month before the bubble
bursts (one hand plus one foot)
and a cold evening with one more
episode of Paris Hilton. With Paris
I find myself, usually with butterflies
and birds. This time it’s an epiphany
of BLANK. I conjure a life-size
cardboard cut-out, this bold blank
vision, a representation of Paris
in the flesh, how far it goes beyond
representation. Weeks pass. It appears
as fact with no further effort from me,
my clairvoyance capacitated into the
cardboard flesh of a cut-out reality,
right in my very own living room at a
‘surprise party’. It’s my 38th birthday
but there is no surprise, of course. She
even and also lives in my television
all day long. With the waif of a crooner
who’d burned holes into my eyeballs
with a voice that defied airwave infinity
in the 1980s. For an entire decade, ghosts
of his descendants blankly cruised each
farm where pigs were bred in Alma, Ark-
ansas. It’s the Summer of Love. I’m del-
ivered 13.7 miles away by a drunk doctor.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
mdv
Are You Interested in Marrying?
My fingers fought small fathers
in the Diamond State. No Herculean
task, I might add, like regretting this
two-bit town too much.
Water only this week. Well, and
coffee and tea – no cream nor
additives but artificial sweetener.
Troubled by others’ methods, I take
Tuesdays and Thursdays off. This
place is creepy. Fuck, I hate myself
he’s so creepy. Which is why
we should TALK & DISCUSS
these things – like last night I proclaim
I AM YOUR CREEPY BOYFRIEND.
My fingers fought small fathers
in the Diamond State. No Herculean
task, I might add, like regretting this
two-bit town too much.
Water only this week. Well, and
coffee and tea – no cream nor
additives but artificial sweetener.
Troubled by others’ methods, I take
Tuesdays and Thursdays off. This
place is creepy. Fuck, I hate myself
he’s so creepy. Which is why
we should TALK & DISCUSS
these things – like last night I proclaim
I AM YOUR CREEPY BOYFRIEND.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
mdiv
Everybody Been Born
I can’t believe I jumped up and
chased him down the hallway
for a telephone. Months passed
and then I waited all day but he
never accepted me. Great anger
gets deflated and/or the economy
sinks. Like a kitchen. But you
have a way with words so I
send all of the acronyms
out to find you. We’re
Matt Damon playing a
frumpy closet-case on
the run. We get con-
fused. But it’s okay.
I can’t believe I jumped up and
chased him down the hallway
for a telephone. Months passed
and then I waited all day but he
never accepted me. Great anger
gets deflated and/or the economy
sinks. Like a kitchen. But you
have a way with words so I
send all of the acronyms
out to find you. We’re
Matt Damon playing a
frumpy closet-case on
the run. We get con-
fused. But it’s okay.
Monday, October 17, 2011
mdiii
A table for one, please.
I already said that. Or have déjà vu or
dyslexia. I got myself into this mess.
I’m so lucky and happy in my still life,
Olfactory Toast. There’s enough butter to
spread a knife around so I get so antsed up I
scream into the gauzy eyes of YOU MOTHER
FUCKER!! These are the same lozenges that
amp up the ecstasy glaze over the orbs of love.
Let’s just say I court a glaze over my eyes, and
you too, maybe a quart of glaze between us.
Who’s to see what’s skating upside down
and frozen underneath it? These aren’t actual
lenses / neither processed with pharmaceutical
prescriptions much. These are just plain water
with no blue poison thrown right over each
blinking heap at minus forty; & this week no
cream additives and no artificial sweeteners.
You’ve the luxury of a stool at the bar with a
pain in the ass waitlist clung to a pain in the ass
waiter in a hard winter rain. I am such a
glaze of orbs redacted by love, so lucky
and happy in my mess. I am so toast.
I already said that. Or have déjà vu or
dyslexia. I got myself into this mess.
I’m so lucky and happy in my still life,
Olfactory Toast. There’s enough butter to
spread a knife around so I get so antsed up I
scream into the gauzy eyes of YOU MOTHER
FUCKER!! These are the same lozenges that
amp up the ecstasy glaze over the orbs of love.
Let’s just say I court a glaze over my eyes, and
you too, maybe a quart of glaze between us.
Who’s to see what’s skating upside down
and frozen underneath it? These aren’t actual
lenses / neither processed with pharmaceutical
prescriptions much. These are just plain water
with no blue poison thrown right over each
blinking heap at minus forty; & this week no
cream additives and no artificial sweeteners.
You’ve the luxury of a stool at the bar with a
pain in the ass waitlist clung to a pain in the ass
waiter in a hard winter rain. I am such a
glaze of orbs redacted by love, so lucky
and happy in my mess. I am so toast.
Friday, October 14, 2011
mdii
Happy Belated Birthday
The code-word is peanuts. You’d
think we’d make more sense of it,
but I’m an online thug at a geisha
exhibit. I’m at a talk about what if.
You’ve probably read this, but the
key is to know how to explode one;
skid row skid marks under butane
tableaux. Get ready to Grindr.
The code-word is peanuts. You’d
think we’d make more sense of it,
but I’m an online thug at a geisha
exhibit. I’m at a talk about what if.
You’ve probably read this, but the
key is to know how to explode one;
skid row skid marks under butane
tableaux. Get ready to Grindr.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
mdi
And Because
The publication won’t stop because of
apartment stuff and I probably won’t go.
I probably won’t go if I am a dirty dance.
The latest in sexual news is shampooed
from the mezzanine up on Saturday night,
the perfect combination of dance and
shampoo with lots of apartment stuff.
I’m hungry and I don’t get up. Except
for talking about what if. It goes up to
five floors or something. Then he says
no problem with me before we hear the
elevator jack off in the distance. Go a-
head and ask him what we tend to do,
sidewalk elevator or cable car? Really
high woman table-talking with a funny
accent. Then he walks by online with
someone I’m dating. He’s an exhibit
and it’s freezing so who’s the voyeur?
The publication won’t stop because of
apartment stuff and I probably won’t go.
I probably won’t go if I am a dirty dance.
The latest in sexual news is shampooed
from the mezzanine up on Saturday night,
the perfect combination of dance and
shampoo with lots of apartment stuff.
I’m hungry and I don’t get up. Except
for talking about what if. It goes up to
five floors or something. Then he says
no problem with me before we hear the
elevator jack off in the distance. Go a-
head and ask him what we tend to do,
sidewalk elevator or cable car? Really
high woman table-talking with a funny
accent. Then he walks by online with
someone I’m dating. He’s an exhibit
and it’s freezing so who’s the voyeur?
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
md
A table for one is reading a Kindle
at Toast: it’s the first book she’s fin-
ished in this year of the new space-
aged head. Learn how to organize
in ‘partial alphabetical’ and clean
each individual slat on the six
sets of blinds. The curtains
have de-evolved, they’ve
lost their swagger like the
rest of us uninsured. No
culture in these curtains.
Dr. Obstacle is obviously
part of this adventure. He
bends into yogic tantrums
morningly and noonly,
yellow with the patch.
In the lobby’s a rash of
patients, each with a
bad case of Cuba and
a gnarled fist slammed
over each ear; a pasty fog’s
filled like an air raid with the
Google’s-Gone-Down(!) Alarm
and a loudspeakered litany of
symptoms; each crackle-voiced
outburst a new acronym that
itches like hell, and, because
this is not a test.
at Toast: it’s the first book she’s fin-
ished in this year of the new space-
aged head. Learn how to organize
in ‘partial alphabetical’ and clean
each individual slat on the six
sets of blinds. The curtains
have de-evolved, they’ve
lost their swagger like the
rest of us uninsured. No
culture in these curtains.
Dr. Obstacle is obviously
part of this adventure. He
bends into yogic tantrums
morningly and noonly,
yellow with the patch.
In the lobby’s a rash of
patients, each with a
bad case of Cuba and
a gnarled fist slammed
over each ear; a pasty fog’s
filled like an air raid with the
Google’s-Gone-Down(!) Alarm
and a loudspeakered litany of
symptoms; each crackle-voiced
outburst a new acronym that
itches like hell, and, because
this is not a test.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
mcdxcix
Last Night’s Need
Last night’s need dropped in on me
again. It’s the nicest shout-out I or
mine have gotten in a very long time.
By the time I’d calmed myself down
for thirty minutes, his parents of guilt,
his panic about school, and boiling
issues of commitment, she was
crowning. Now it’s pushing
play. A smile for the
wanted. So much
shame to enjoy (&
its matching
publication).
Last night’s need dropped in on me
again. It’s the nicest shout-out I or
mine have gotten in a very long time.
By the time I’d calmed myself down
for thirty minutes, his parents of guilt,
his panic about school, and boiling
issues of commitment, she was
crowning. Now it’s pushing
play. A smile for the
wanted. So much
shame to enjoy (&
its matching
publication).
Monday, October 10, 2011
mcdxcviii
SCOLDED
I’m always scolded again. And I’m not
complaining because this is trying to
communicate, productive. Beautiful
day? Scolded. So last night’s need
for parents first thing in the morning
causes a storm of a dance. I let him
play school with his bonus guilt,
his panic about school, and hair.
I’m always scolded again. And I’m not
complaining because this is trying to
communicate, productive. Beautiful
day? Scolded. So last night’s need
for parents first thing in the morning
causes a storm of a dance. I let him
play school with his bonus guilt,
his panic about school, and hair.
Friday, October 07, 2011
mcdxcvii
Saturday Night Housewarming Picnic
I boil this down to separating
after five hundred or so. With
swagger. Cute, but there’s
no need for the comma (
correspondence disintegration).
Whilst I coffee my diary with
Joey & pals, calm productive
into tears (hyphen). Or years.
Thirty minutes of french fries
over laundry. So every 500
I calm myself. I read tons of
Anselm Hollo. Beautiful stuff
for a perfect movie. This wk’s
agenda: invite ~75 people. Oops.
Saturday night housewarming picnic.
I boil this down to separating
after five hundred or so. With
swagger. Cute, but there’s
no need for the comma (
correspondence disintegration).
Whilst I coffee my diary with
Joey & pals, calm productive
into tears (hyphen). Or years.
Thirty minutes of french fries
over laundry. So every 500
I calm myself. I read tons of
Anselm Hollo. Beautiful stuff
for a perfect movie. This wk’s
agenda: invite ~75 people. Oops.
Saturday night housewarming picnic.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
mcdxcvi
I’m So Full of Sorry
I wrote some apartment stuff,
actually helping. I know I’m being
at least somewhat reasonable. It’s okay
as a bummer excuse, but what to do in an
LTR? That’s his word for beautiful poetry.
I wrote some apartment stuff,
actually helping. I know I’m being
at least somewhat reasonable. It’s okay
as a bummer excuse, but what to do in an
LTR? That’s his word for beautiful poetry.
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
mcdxcv
His secret’s on the side of much
willing. Or should be. The
joke about the coyote never ends.
We take the depression okay, an
anxious gift full of responsibility,
capital p, and lost trust. I know
a reasonable fence he should
err on the side of. Ha ha.
Is this wanting help? Okay
calm down secret. Be
reasonable. Life is so
important to proclaim.
willing. Or should be. The
joke about the coyote never ends.
We take the depression okay, an
anxious gift full of responsibility,
capital p, and lost trust. I know
a reasonable fence he should
err on the side of. Ha ha.
Is this wanting help? Okay
calm down secret. Be
reasonable. Life is so
important to proclaim.
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
mcdxciv
It’s the Dead of Winter and I’m Nearly 70
I wrote an anecdote out of shampoo,
home by myself with a hot martini
recovered from work. Otto’s drinking
M&Ms. There’s no trust this week.
Six and a half years ago I write something,
9:15, and decide on drinks. I have written
hundreds of drinks about where I am. I’m
older than Kasey. We decide in a minute
where I am. Oh, I’m here, arriving in the
mail along with possibilities. I miss Nick
but worry about his return. Gloss up the
kitchen a little bit, the masked-up wall,
doing some apartment stuff before going
out and calming down. A somewhat
reasonable need to make up for lost
trust. Err on the side of assure.
Err on the side of parent? Being a
big pain in the ass? Calm down,
secretive. Boats wobble in the breeze
without green. A cure for the hair of the
dog that bit you straddles the fence a
bit. He’s such a kid about actually.
I wrote an anecdote out of shampoo,
home by myself with a hot martini
recovered from work. Otto’s drinking
M&Ms. There’s no trust this week.
Six and a half years ago I write something,
9:15, and decide on drinks. I have written
hundreds of drinks about where I am. I’m
older than Kasey. We decide in a minute
where I am. Oh, I’m here, arriving in the
mail along with possibilities. I miss Nick
but worry about his return. Gloss up the
kitchen a little bit, the masked-up wall,
doing some apartment stuff before going
out and calming down. A somewhat
reasonable need to make up for lost
trust. Err on the side of assure.
Err on the side of parent? Being a
big pain in the ass? Calm down,
secretive. Boats wobble in the breeze
without green. A cure for the hair of the
dog that bit you straddles the fence a
bit. He’s such a kid about actually.
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