I can’t tell about my presence. I keep
getting reminded (over and over again)
that it’s my turn. I
keep taking turns
but what am I doing?
Retreat at Lake Tahoe, two weeks. Al-
together it made me not very here. At
the Tease Emporium several nights
last week. I wish I
weren’t here. I’ve
a pain in my chest and my heart hurts.
I’m dizzy. Need
break. Wish weren’t
here.
Sometimes dizzy is sleepy.
There are
German people beside me.
My Mother:
Demonology. Writing hurts. This isn’t
normal. Wait a
minute, writing is hurting.
Several nights last week I think work sucks.
Need break. Need
vacation.
So on Library Day I’m a little edgy. It’s
nice out. I certainly
haven’t felt this healthy
in a while. Am I
slimming down? Does form
follow content (defeat
of deduct went over
defense before detail). How to feel for
the details. How to
feel comfortable
with details. Also
hungry. Bottom
of back. Movement
makes me
tired. Do
I have bad breath?
