my
exuberance is reduced to uberance (self-help dialog #1 & only)
too self-revealing. too
sure of myself sounding. having a
really nice time with
conflict. joke too much about loving
conflict. use
the word engagement way too much. too
serious about it. too
loud. too overwhelming to people
who don’t feel the same way
i do about conflict. entirely
too unclear to anyone about
how i actually feel about
conflict, resolution,
friendship, and passionate debate
(should use the word passionate more
and the word
heated less ... ... or should i?).
maybe in the end i am just
really lousy at this. in
which case how
fortunate. now. this newfound
wherewithal. that it may be
ME screwing every
thing up, ME zonko, ME so consumed
that i
cannot step away to see the
‘real picture’.
because i’m in the
way. because not only
am i obstructing the view,
but i am the
dead center of all that has
been, to my
consumed mind, unjust,
incorrect, prob
lematizing, THE PROBLEM.
I think I can finish with
an articulation
of the hopeful. Without
knowing or
understanding how to do
so without eviscerating
Okay.
hope.