my exuberance is reduced to uberance (self-help dialog #1 & only)
too self-revealing. too sure of myself sounding. having a
really nice time with conflict. joke too much about loving
conflict. use the word engagement way too much. too
serious about it. too loud. too overwhelming to people
who don’t feel the same way i do about conflict. entirely
too unclear to anyone about how i actually feel about
conflict, resolution, friendship, and passionate debate
(should use the word passionate more and the word
heated less ... ... or should i?).
maybe in the end i am just really lousy at this. in
which case how fortunate. now. this newfound
wherewithal. that it may be ME screwing every
thing up, ME zonko, ME so consumed that i
cannot step away to see the ‘real picture’.
because i’m in the way. because not only
am i obstructing the view, but i am the
dead center of all that has been, to my
consumed mind, unjust, incorrect, prob
lematizing, THE PROBLEM.
I think I can finish with an articulation
of the hopeful. Without knowing or
understanding how to do
so without eviscerating