mmxviii

Um, ok, too.

“I’m not

sleeping,

I’m just

resting my eyes”

has come to

“I didn’t roll

my eyes, I

just opened

them widely.”

Okay.  Fine.

So today I

will work

on for.  To

morrow against.

mmxvii

Um, ok.

With blackberry fruitiness

and a chocolaty mouth-

feel, he whispered “Please

sit, so that I can give you

blow job.”  It was a demand.

Del Cross, tender man massage.

Del Cross, you are receiving

this email because you have

subscribed to full or trial

access to one of our paysites

on Thursday, June 13th.

MassageBait – Gay Guys

Massaging Straight Men

For Sex.  MassageBait

offers straight men a

great way to explore

their sexuality.  I

guess I guess I

guess.  Or I’m

guessing.  But

I’m not voting.

I wouldn’t know

what I was voting

for or against.

mmxvi½

Jphega s===== equals John Asheberry

This is never to be spoken again.

This is hush hush.

Hu-u-u-u-ush.

mmxvi

It was a day like any other, torn from the register.

                                                      —Jphja s=====

But what I have here is.  Oh well.  The fan.  I’d

say I want a mint julep with that.  And I will.

Say it, that is.  I say a lot of things.  Especially

on days like today.  I

wake up, it’s a new generation.  Meaning

everyone in this generation took everyone

in that generation soooo seriously.

Which is 2 true.

mmxv

Wendy Pepper Is An Apple Cider

This was just so retro,

and therefore and also,

this was just so meta:

enfolding, as it always does, over

(and seeping into) the marginal.

It was the new way of writing

(or something to that effect)

and no one was going to stop her now

that it had exploded so...

thusly.....

Endward and forever, thought Edward.

Until the archeologists

dust off their fans,

each and all awaiting agape and akimbo,

at outposts numbered 1, 2, 3, &c.,

and various other locations

within the boundaries

of the suspects:

Leaking Desert #8, Leaking Desert #27, Leaking Desert #&c.

mmxiv

                             Otherwise we’d only have
looking forward to look forward to.
                                                  —John Ashbery

In 2014, I’m in a really nice, mellow mood
watching the dogwalkers on Russian Hill
and reflecting on my doctor’s meeting,
his comment – But you seem to be man-
aging it so well! – and realizing, with
some joy, that he could have been
referring to anything.

I walk in the rain with Otto this morning,
his big umbrella that used to be mine, but
today we share it – over both of us.

How long have I lived in this singular spot? Be-
sides home, in Hometown, which was
sixteen odd years. Curran and I live
on O’Farrell Street, across from the
Kaiser Hospital emergency room entrance;
and this for nearly two whole years.
So that must be the new record.

mmxiii

It Has Been Just the Craziest Time!

He sort of folded over when he said

it, his big grin disappearing into the

fold.  When he came to, but only

for a moment, he slurred “Recovery

is going to be so much fun!  I’m

making an art project out of it!”

mmxii

It’s Been Too Long

Where to begin?  I had to throw the

saucepan away.  Overboiling.

The new routines are working okay.

But I really need to start getting myself

somewhere else.  My list gets check-

marks, like, tons.  But who rocks

my world now?  There was one long

body, the other day, people like

Anne Waldman.  I was trying to

remember backhanded compliment

and all I could remember was hand.

We went to bed all alone last night

and it was so pleasant.  Nobody to

tackle.  Nothing to do but sleep.

mmxi

The people who know me

know that I have clicked

fourteen times on this link.

To click a link is not caca

phony.  It is more like a

clang.  The clang of click

ing a link.

At breakfast I ate our

host’s link sausages.

Each and all, they

were quite delicious.

mmx

The Look of Love Is in Your Eyes

I dropped four eggs on the floor.

It was a new record.  And trust me,

I totally get why nobody has the

time to wait for me to finish a

sentence.  My generation is

dying, so there isn’t any time.

Also, time is money.

I have never prepared

bacon like this.  It’s

the kind that comes

in a square package.

In lots of (at least

seemingly) un

structured chunks.

mmix

Fear In Public

Let’s all get well soon,

okay?  I don’t think

anyone wrote that.

I mean I don’t even

think.  I mean.  (sorry)

I am pretty sure that

some of the things

that I type in this

box make my

aunt’s blood

pressure sky

rocket.

The pigeons

on the roof

are bathing.

The pigeons

on the roof

are sunbathing.

Maybe it’s just

me.  But one

can never be

too sure.

mmviii

Ryan has a tendency to get distracted when he smokes.

Decorate the boots at the end of this sentence.

mmvii

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

do u feel bad when the

truth hurts?  things get

tangled up a lot.  science

is sometimes as subjective

as the next guy.  summed

up, all of the lines in his

face equals the master

template of i am happy

and i feel sheer, even

giddy joy as he pumps his

long-time buddy’s

chest with an ice pick

over and over and

over and over and

over and over while

encamped at the base

of mauna loa.

forensic anthro

pology is the

study of the

lines in my

face.  in

summary,

who appears

in the souvenir

photograph

when every

thing else

has been

removed?

mmvi

and now for something...

i’m so sorry.  i’m so sorry.

i’m so sorry.  i’m so sorry.

i’m so sorry that it is imp-

ossible for me NOT to

apologize to you.  i’m so

headache headache

throw-up throw-up

bruise and scratch

and protection

from a broken

leg-bone head-bone

wrist-bone heart-bone

eye-bone ear-bone

bright white lights

of the city and i am

so so sorry.  good

bye alpha bravo

charlie i’m so

very sorry.  good

bye alpha.  good

bye bravo.  good

bye goodbye charlie.

goodbye

hawaiian airlines.

mmv

mmiv

yeh,

striving for a

stress-free

existence

is

pretty much

the goal.

mmiii

SPOOKY

sorry for yelling.  oh no.

do you really mean to ask

what is your daily word

count?  i should share

where i got that?  you

threw a party and only

one person showed up?

oh no.  i mean.  you

threw a party and

one person came.

woohoo!     ?

or you just

threw up

?

mmii

I now remember who rocked my world in there.

It was your wonderful smile.  I’m not sure what

to do about that, though.

Besides, here in the box, the new routines are

at work; are probably working.  Let me pick up a

book to demonstrate (I show you).

I think my thumbs up.  The use of the word molly.

She was my great-grandmother and taught me

how to play dominoes and wa-hoo.

mmi

It Was Worth a Try (That Did Not Succeed)

What I’m trying to say here is that we can

easily talk about what we’re doing –

within what we’re doing. 

Maybe some of us not so easily.

The new routines.  While here.  Finished.

The same day?  Hello.  And I must.

Where we live.  Because of this morning’s

work gig.  Gym in forever.  Went home

yesterday, 5:30pm.  Take the day off

again.  Today I will concentrate.

Hello, mermaids are real!  I saw them on

Animal Planet.

mm

the music was boring and insightful

                                   —Joshua Beckman

Meaning takes on many different forms.  Like meaning-

less.  And meaninglessness.  Among other variants.  Let’s

say, for example, that I am two thousand years old and

am experiencing an anniversary of sorts.  To keep it from

being dull, I walk to my fellow anniversarent’s office.  It

gets very complicated, so I won’t go into that.  Let’s just

use the word awkward. 

Breathe in, eventually.  Sorry.

Saturday went kind of fast.  We had a reading with a

very nice voice.  There was a good presence.  Then

we messed around with our iPods, creating playing

lists, etc.  Then we stayed the night at a birthday

party.  We got the celebutante a princess purse 

(since it was a princess party) filled with

tickets to the circus.

I just got off the phone.  I don’t think he liked his

present.  

We all slept a bit on the floor, in sleeping

bags that were just purchased for the occasion.

And then Sunday morning we all walked home

in the mist, stopping three times along the way:

first, at Starbucks, of course; then, to watch

Prince Charles’ entourage head for the top of

Nob Hill (he and Camilla are in town,

apparently staying at the Four Seasons);

and lastly, to check out a tiny half a million 

dollar condo across the street from where

we live,

which is a peach of a place, much cheaper

than a half a million dollars.  Later we had

dim sum at Lychee Garden, walked around

North Beach, North Point, Polk Street,

and watched Naruto episodes.  We

had a lovely dinner (home cooked!)

and both went to bed early for work.

mcmxcix

I’m Your Hero

Maybe I should try a

French movie from the

1950s.  That’s all I really

know.

Last night.  Drinks at

Kimo’s with Kim.

Watching a hustler

get arrested.  Or

handcuffed.  He

said he was being

‘checked out’  ....

I walked to work

this morning

(arrived at

5:15am), the

first person at

Starbucks!  A

lovely walk

that went

without a

hitch.

Prince is

crying

ever since

the new

millennium

started.  His

weekends

anymore are

a blur (not

purple).

mcmxcviii

I spent a lot of time reading

in Union Square this week.

Coffee keeps coming up.

It dawns on me now

that dancing grumpily

(grumpy-dancing) is

such a waste of time.

In November I am

so very tired I just

want to lie down

somewhere.  I

put in fifty or

so hours every

week, which I am

constantly either

complaining about

or bragging about.

It dawns on me now

that this is a complete

waste of time.

Apparently, I was

once performing a

series of what I called

Wicked Sonnets.  That’s

what’s been keeping me

super busy.  Plus the

year-end reviews

next week.

I had a turkey burger

for lunch.