mmdxvii

Ooh, Spank Me, Amadeus!

I am the Marquis de Sadness,
heart blatantly on sleeve (tat
tooed underneath in case of
sleevelessness), loving every
lugubrious minute of it.  Pre

sently, the sound that the
pornography makes is as
equidistant from me as either
hopes or fears.  Present circum

stances disallow my comfort
zone from being swallowed
up like a very ripe banana.
Sure, you can say “I told you
so,” only to be eaten by a

velociraptor in the morn
ing (mañana).  Try not to
tell me so afterwards be-
cause I already ate the

future just to get here in 

time to tell you this now.

mmdxvi

U Does Not = Heart

[Read this poem as if directed
at me.]  The last week or so
needs motivation, right?
After 850 calories (it
says here) “BOMBED
AIRPLANE PILOTS
AVERTED” (CNN
headlines that get
larger and larger
as the day prog-
resses until

shrunk to

one single
word, larg-
est type-
face ever):

“FEAR
[EXCLAMA-
TION POINT]”—
This, only to
scare the dead
into living (well,
nowadays, who
can tell the liv-
ing from the
dead, anyway?)


So, Peaches got
happier. And me,
I’m planning a trip
to Lost Angels in
less than the cost
of a pair of decent
pajamas (two weeks 

at present). 

Thanks again, government!

mmdxv

          When a dog laughs
          It is nothing like what you thought it would be.
          It is nothing in the worst sense of the word.
                                                          —Kevin Killian

My computer
says you are
there.  I’m here.

“Eloquence in-
fected w/venom,”
you once said.

“Your miasma
is returning,”
you once said.

Nothing ever
stays the same.
“Deal with it!”

I’ve already
copped an
entire bag of

cookies.
“Soft-baked
nympho-

maniac,”
you once 

said.

mmdxiv

Memorable & Miserable
(What a Cute Couple!)

It’s terrible to do nothing
but complain all of the time.

At my gym, they’ve reduced 

down to ONE MACHINE

TOTAL!  This, I think,
as I walk by a bumper

sticker that announces
it is catchy...not sketchy!

mmdxiii

Jack-o’-Lantern

Nobody got
the joke about
the cantaloupe.

Oh, ye of big
dicks and little
romance ... hither

or sway?  I’d
like to swing-
dance into a

new decade.
Maybe.  Maybe
I should strip

down and go
soak for a
while.  Big or

bigger change?
___________,
deep dummy,

bonking another 

dummy deep.

mmdxii

     A long blue sky without a brow
                       —Fanny Howe

How uneventful today is.

I tried to go to work,

but there was no work.

I took a look at the cat,

the purring cat.  I read

a book in translation and

then in its original language.

Why I ever thought a bit

of this would ever be

of any use?  The hours

continued to slip away.

I picked at my teeth

with a blade of grass.

I waited for someone

to arrive.  I am waiting

for someone to arrive.

The doorbell rings

but I hear nothing

but whispers for

the rest of the day

and into the night.

mmdxi

Top Heavy

Dolly had no idea
that she’d run into
Jolene at the service
station that gorgeous
June afternoon.  April
had seen a flurry of
electrical storms
and more than
Nashville’s fair
share of spinning
winds.

(“Time...,”
thought all of the
blondes in Arizona.)

“Beans and ham for
dinner tonight,”
Dolly wondered,
adjusting herself.
A bee alighted
upon the tip of
the nozzle as
Jolene pulled
to a stop directly
on the other side
of Dolly’s pump.

(“Wind...,”
expected
California
at that very
moment.)

Have you ever
once caught
Dolly biting
her nails?
“Your finger,
it’s bleeding!”
I tried.  A
bullethole
at the base
of the wind-
ow between 

here and there.

mmdx

    metaphor; donut twists in matter—10
    to the minus 33cm—its                               inverted fragments like Bay Area Poetry;
                                                                                               —Brenda Hillman


I want I need I
don’t die. And
I seem to be
made of fur.
I had to ex-
plain that I
wasn’t allud-
ing to anything
in particular. Just
this night and its
particular loneliness. //


I tend to harbor no
resentments. I also
try honesty until it
doesn’t work. ///


The pizza didn’t arrive.
Or it did, per the guy
on the phone (from
Pizza Hut), but when
the delivery person
dialed the number
that was electronic-
ally attached to my
order, there was
no answer, he says. ////


Only silence out- 

does itself tonight. /////

mmdix

There are so many types of
“personal” in poetry. The “I” is                a needle some find useful, though
the thread, of course, is shadow.
                                                                                 —Brenda Hillman

We were both very cranky and hot.
Despite the fact that we were so
young. The more I did my cardio
routine, the more profound the
hour became (tick tock tick tock)....

Steam rooms are grossing me out
a bit lately, and I have no vocabulary
to speak of. Of which to speak. And/or
quiet time? Don’t even think about it!
Please, instead, allow me to offer a

few words of advice from the San
Francisco Public Library. And...
I can’t even do that. I find myself
flying at half mast. Which is a laugh,
perhaps, that upsets the dust on the

windowsill. I’m this close to stripping
down an entire bag of cookies – milk-
chocolate, macadamia nut, soft-baked.
Come to think of it, even though I am
hardly a native, one could very well

describe myself in much the same way.

mmdviii

Why Argue?

The stupidity of questions.
About life, no more, it seems.
Could it be?  It’s doubtful.

“I doubt it.”  One of Mom’s
favorite phrases.  Why I am
an optimist might make you

laugh.  But what if everyone
suddenly believed?  Did any-
body cry when we left?  Ah,

well, we were both cranks.
It’s been so very hot.  Despite
the fact that we were young

and silly, those years are gone.
Eight years now?  Maybe nine?
Somewhere between 8 and 9.