mmclxxix

Ugh, did I go too far!?  Well,

of course I did!  Just like

tonight, in the Grand Ballroom

of the Internet, clutching the

shrunken heads of

Miranda Lambert and

Scarlett Johannson

like golden statuettes,

entirely too close

to my heart, strangling

them like realizing

they were actually

something people’s

choice, somebody’s

people, but strangling

them with love,

believing them mine,

my very own Oscar darlings,

heavy as lead, but if I can get them

just—close—enough to the semi-persistent

thrump-thrump-thrumpeting, they’ll be as

forever mine & as molten as James Franco’s

heartbreakingly-withdrawn over-bitten bearing

and that inconspicuous bottom lip.

mmclxxviii

Ask me again tomorrow.

Do you really think my attitude
is that bad? I suppose I should
try to be less skeptical. More
engaging, for that matter. More

engaging? Meanwhile, do you
know anybody who wants a dog?
[Insert photo here] chihuahua mix
female. She does look pretty sad.

mmclxxvii

I’m seeing stars
after stooping over
in my chair. It can’t
be the weather, which
has been very busy today.
How’m I doing? Start
elsewhere, going to neo-
benshi with Erin, Curran,
Masashi. Weather crisp,
nice today, I am going
forward now, correct?
How’m I doing? Hot!
Letting Otto fold every-
thing now, especially
considering I’m walk-
ing out of this haze.
How’m I doing?

I’ve been very
busy today,
which amounts
to seeing stars
after stooping
over in my chair
and, I guess, so far,
$565.89.

mmclxxvi

For Crying Out Loud!

so this one should mean something.
ok. not only am i walking out from
the fog and slightly away from it,
but i did manage to clean the
apartment consistently or
i mean considerably
which is to make
headway. then
home to sushi
rapture where
we had to watch
andrew and tj wrestle
in a haze.
then laundry.
no crying.
no crying out loud.
then laundry
then bed and no crying

look how much a man i am
walking out of the haze
just after midnight

and slightly away from it
... ...
.. ..
. .

. .


. .

mmclxxv

Is never some of ours.
              —Juliana Spahr

And how this might apply
in terms of I danced in our
spot. Or I made him take
his shirt off like he’d done
to me the last time we
danced there. Or then
we went back to his place
to do more. Or. But then
I had a near death experience.
Or how these near death ex-
periences keep happening?

Then we went back. I really
thought I was dying. Later,
when I must be okay, I am
feeling skittery. Sure, yeah,
absolutely. Walking out of
the fog is here. Did it happen?
Was there a dance on a
dancefloor somewhere
near the middle but yet
off to the side. Usually
very off to the side.
In the middle

is here.
Data.

mmclxxiv

with just the right crook
that could’ve went somewhere.