Friday, April 26, 2013

mdcccxciii

Maybe it’s just impossible for me to pick my
tongue out of my cheek.  Do they hurt like
the worst kind of splinters, which today I
confirmed is hair splinters (this is one of
the things I learned from Brook, my new
barber, my barber of today)?  It’s not that
I haven’t tried.

Is somebody going through a rough time?
I know somebody that’s going through a
rough time.  And I’m just no good at
‘being there’ for such things.  Especially
what with how cruel the world has been
lately (you know who you are!).  I run
from D for Drama.  Even though a little
piece of my heart gets an erection.

Maybe not entirely, though.  I can emote.
Right?  You saw me last night when you
played that new P!nk video.  That was
art.  Totally.  And she worked so hard
for it, too.  Which makes it art with a
hard-on.  Omigod, I mean art with
purpose.  But I’m sorry it’s just
impossible. 

Which of course is why when you
played the new Lana Del Rey video
immediately after, I just couldn’t
let go of myself.  I know, I know,
an hour of non-stop criticism for
a poor....brunette now, I think,
right?....for a poor brunette
with a wobbly voice and a
bizarre penchant for interm-
inably long poetry-reading-
esque voice-over narration
before, during, and after her
[musical number?] during an
Easy Rider vs. Anna Nicole
Smith music video—is just a
bit much.  Wouldn’t you say?