the bank yesterday as it basically told me that I was over
drawn thru existential crisis—it was amazing without
feeling and kinda PLUS on the manic side which with me
always puts me into an exaggerated intensity. I have
so much fun writing narrative poems and as I’ve said before
I should try to combine these two styles into a narrative
urgency somewhere near the surface of PEACE like how
I’m using my emotiCons and at the same time not really feeling
that sort of blankity-blankity-blank kind of FUCK the other
half of the world loves to get paid I LOVE TO GET PAID I
love to get paid a lot on Friday which makes my emotions all
ROCKIN IT SO HARD otherwise maybe we can have some
drinks. something’s definitely eating me off today these
faces of my favorite poets these faces of my all-time favorites I
FACE THE PROBLEM I say hey I’m free tomorrow this
sense of urgency every night to tell a fucking story I can’t
sense the urgency every night to tell a fucking story I can’t
remember even having that consciously intentional KNOW
LEDGE that kind of “walk in my shoes” thing where I’m grip
ping this guy & he’s “driven” with a LICENSE TO GRIPE
that replaces all of my periods with quotation marks. no this
wasn’t today. it was rather today’s instance. it was only one
of several where I learned another sort of meditation. NO THIS
wasn’t today it was rather an afterimage. it was only the NO
instant which today stands for. is how it was today THIS?
