Hi. How can words so utterly
innocuous emerge from an
abomination such as Whozit?
We each have our own bag of
beans to carry, but I haven’t
wasted this much effort since
Postconceptualism 101.
Watch out dammit you’re gonna
scratch my MacBook! Hey,
what size bed do you need
when you happen to have
me in it? I do like an occasional
ice cube on my thigh, but a box
full of warm tongue is a great way
to spend an afternoon. Somebody
somewhere will find this as
innovatingly uninteresting
as it already ever was. You,
however, find it absolutely
hilarious, and I would really
love your autograph. He can’t
afford to say that, can he, with his
mind so convulsed in collapsed
Colfax (as in Schuyler)? Um,
do you happen to have a match?
Not unless you know how to
zipper, my friend, and from the
looks of things, I’d say that
iron futures are squeamish.
Which reminds me that my
favorite question ever uttered
at an underwear party is “Where
do you put your drink money?”
Sure, someday this will all be
famous, so calmly remove
your blinders and punch
the button for episode
two. Fortunately, I
never worry too much
about giving a false
impression. What’s in it for
anyone without an abstract
concept? Poor sot, I have
three more words for you:
quick, put this list in your
pocket, and whatever you do
don’t listen to the critics.
