Why This Veil of Pretense?
It’s lovely to get to know someone. It takes years.
And then comes engagement. Or so I say. Primary ambrosia.
So why are we so afraid to give it away? Well, perhaps because
we know all too well that getting it straight can be so dull. Do I want to
bore people?
Perhaps, sometimes.
Mystery, elusivity, and complexity are basically corrupt and coward.
But I do like to play hard to get (in the traditional sense).
Anyone who’s that obvious doesn’t stand a chance with me.
Hence it’s games with words. Much joy ensues.
Lately, and I was just talking about this with someone
whose name never shows up here, I’ve been thinking about
the inclusion of proper names of friends, lovers, and acquaintances
who show up in these lines,
what it would mean to tabulate each name, rank the order
from “most appearances” to “mentioned only once” –
and how that list might compare with and surprise with regard to
perceived importance of the same set of people – in “real” life –
outside the trajectory of this plot that I have pieced together from “reality” –
this lovely, pretended plot that has,
in more ways than I can articulate,
given me a clearer understand of who I am and what is real
than pretty much any venture in which I’ve ever invested.
As for engagement, today I feel so in love.
Ain’t that something?
