We Love You Internet Get Up
This is not my Bette Davis poem.
It’s about the barefoot baby that got
ousted from Burger King. And Toby,
who wishes the rain would fuck off its
taking the piss now hehe. You might ask
if this breaks my commitment to, what
is it they’re calling the jaded generation
these days? What a dump! But I’ll keep
that meter running and let you know if
anything changes. Where was I? Oh.
Any of you all about the beach day after
tomorrow, please turn now to the fellow
on your left and give him a good pat on
the back of his ass. Patters and pattees,
please take immediate note of your re-
action (yours and his) and express it in
four to eight lines, pronto. For all you
losers who left without them today,
our deacons are in the aisles now
passing out notepads and pens,
along with some coffee and hot love.
Go gentle, dear folk. They’re sick of
paperwork and they’re going to devour
each of you in two weeks flat. Which
just goes to show you should never
underestimate porn freeze. Let this be a
lesson to all of you on how much hell it takes
to dodge hired goons and lonely process servers.
