Dig past a clumsy nerve to the
post office. It’s Saturday and
you’re Ikea-anxious but monu-
mental (goodbye proposition).
Going somewhere? Spend a
week on water. The coffee
tastes like birds but the
bananas are delicious.
A peach falls from the
hull and into the mouth of a
landlubber. Jennifer Coolidge
calls Kirstie Alley to recommend
the Cocaine Diet. Broadway finds
the Baltic and the Sisters of Em-
pathy telethon begins. The
attire is Viking and it
lasts until about 5am. Dance
onstage til the in-laws
arrive with a new deck of
icebreakers. Like
the proper way to say
grandma in Russian.
