mcdlxxi

I am super surprised.

You can be trained in
defying expectations.
I don’t know why.

If that word describes
everything then why
use it?   It’s a very

mountain day, for
example.   The
clouds lift

your spirits and this
feeling of
amazement.   Or

minuscule pecan.
This, however,
was no breakthrough.

mcdlxx

The Samantha Defense

I drink margaritas and then play
Twister. Tacos, burritos and
accusations. I’m judgmental.
My defense is semantics.

Why can’t you read my mind?
I’m out the door and I still make
a good time. What about five
years? What about writing?

I do a series of this and that
for the devils. Whose hand-
marks are on your destiny?
There are clues and stubble so

use chewing gum. First you
cringe and then you get sucked
in. It’s all terribly hurried
but you like who you are,

and repeat this to yourself
often. It’s a long sidewalk,
though. If you cringe at the word
stereotype then you won’t get this.

mcdlxix

Okay to Disconnect

What arrogance
to think I could suck you
in to this! No fun
left for this silly ghost.

My work is crucial
(see me sleeping in a
giant plastic ball
as it rolls down the hill).

Added zero minutes ago.

mcdlxviii

Sometimes you prove
you feel too much. Don’t be
so loud about it. Sunk into oblivion
a sensation refracts personality. This
is an attractive quality.

His brother is playing video games.
His grandmother made us lunch:
egg, potatoes and beef. Also,
I’m a gossip in the bedroom.
In Monterey. In Carmel.

Word is pain; express less. Meh.
Paint a hole into the wall. A
sequence of holes. Heart out
a pattern (“Are they linear?”).
Reset the fuse (an expression).

The moon is canceled. Eric is
Robert, maybe. And others.
Jason. I buy pajamas and
underwear. Mom offers me
a painkiller but I have
never understood them.

mcdlxvii

Somebody Everyone Likes

     [repeat]
                   —Larry Kearney

“Happy birthday! You’re amazing!”
Along the swollen, candied shore
of the river. “Let’s go!”

He’ll come over for dinner tonight.
Feeling so good is feeling so good
in love.

A spackled wilderness rises in the
portent. On holiday borders.
Yuck on the latter.

I woke up crummy on the little green
o’s. Allergies eating me up. Bit of an
online fight.

After lunch Harry manipulates the
laundry. The television sends
smoke signals.

Seven months later I’m at his
parents’ in Salinas, grooming
for the 4th of July.

Last night’s fast food watches
second half of Joy Luck Club.

mcdlxvi

Keep Your Opinions to Yourself

Imp arm. Swung lightly.
Oof! Bite imp arm’s wiggle,
slightly. On Golden Gate.
Begin a fucked-up chat
then home a bottom.
Tried to run. Serious.
Four books and he was
on me. Too much hay.
One hour left.

Let’s go,
Vanity.
7 deadly
poets and
America’s
next top
model.

The doctor prescribed a
photo shoot. In your beard.
When you have to write.
Which was located at
Selected Poems. After a
zipper a walkabout. An
Australian walkabout.

For Nick,
who’s 20,
I bought a
tuna burger.
Growing a
beard (full).

mcdlxv

A Woman Named Anna

     ...the saddest
     story I ever heard was one short week
     in you...
                               —Larry Kearney

Sunday morning messages at
Lavender Day Spa. No dork
no light. This is not my
song and dance, to whine
and suicide.

A cat in pajamas
eyes a polar bear pelt,
her home against
brown & orange
(versus).

Then drove back into the
city, picked up some laundry,
and then to my place
to shower off the oil.
Dinner at Popeye’s.

Seven days of song&dance.
Seven fragrances at Club Q.
Seven soul food. Seven
wasn’t open. Seven,
which is located at a
new place called
Golden Girls.

mcdlxiv

Tremendously

I’ve got my eyes on the dork
and I am so happy in love. Then
we played Uno and attempted Rook
in our room. Then we watched
Willie Wonka until nearly the end
when the machine ate the videotape.

I like your like. Can you like that?
If so, I’m not sure how to do it.
But I do.

mcdlxiii

You’re out of whack.

I’m all up on defying expectations
but when it turned into a comedy routine
I was, like, OVATION!

What a year!

mcdlxii

I’m having a late night snake.

There’s bliss in avoidance.
Buddha up on the avoidance.

But learn how to leave
well enough alone.

mcdlxi

What. Is. Wrong. With. You.

“Money is perfect.   Perfection of fantasy.”
It’s impossible to avoid poetry and I don’t want you
to take over control.   Who need swords for a pilfered
destiny?

Beautiful day.   Drove on up to Calistoga and
checked into The Elms – super nice Victorian
bed & breakfast.   Third floor.   Tour at Benziger
like with Curran and his folks.

Okay I admit it.   Drama is therapy.   But
what a difference six months can make.

mcdlx

Saturday morning I rented a Prius
and drove to Sonoma.   Two thoughts:
a) the two superstars of the year are
Christina Aguilera & Nicki Minaj;
b) binge & purge.

mcdlix

Étouffée

Katherine Hepburn slept here.   In
easier times one could simply say
I don’t give a damn.   2 zippies
on my day off; run into Goober
at the Nashville Airport before
EXPERIENCE TURBULENCE.

I don’t really remember New
Orleans.   My first flight(s),
spring break my senior year
in undergrad.   One after
another last night.   Plouf
on Belden then my first
Stepford Wives.

So I reread the same book
twice in one year.   Somehow
proof is determined.   I often
call it my favorite cuisine.
I’ll take ‘Things that can
give you stomach poisoning,’
Dick.

After salmon without sauce
I watch a man throw up
out of a Pontiac.   He looks
happy; ready for the afternoon.

mcdlviii

The Sellout

Terror seems to have forgotten me.
But not vulnerable. This is
The Year of Vulnerable. A
woman I don’t know says
You’re in denial! I try to
believe it.

Resolutions wrapped in red leather
just to twist the tongue, to entice
those canaries. I plant another
green globe into my craw
but haven’t yet the stomach
of a real animal.

The tiny green globe crawls
back out and onto the sidewalk.

Say “important”, says the animal.
It’s a first sip of coffee before
up with the zipper and
out with a toothpaste. Suckers!
Fill my stocking with

bully, I’m gone running
errands without any motive.
If I find a list I usually
cross it off.

But [mockingly] this handout looks better
marquee’d. Belongs on the top shelf
with a $50 gift card for someplace
with nothing under a grand. You’ve got
another delusion to pump up. You’ve got

a job tomorrow. Pump. It. Up.
It’s the dawn of a new era
that called in sick. Rex
the german shepherd ate it and then
barfed it into the creek before it froze up.

Walk like a dime’s glimmer of apathy.
Sever your ditty with market so savvy
it fits into everyone’s New Year’s diet.

mcdlvii

This Is Why I’m Known As Elmer Fudd
(To My Friends!)

Watch another movie about older sex.
I really want to give you a hug. Let’s
talk. But please not an escalation of
accusations. God, maybe a few

rejoinders? Then we vacuum on
all fours. I know you fixed it
but I used it, okay? No, don’t
scratch that word out. Yet.

Open up a jar of community.
I’m not the one who thinks
neighbors should be
instant friends. I do always

wonder how that never works out
for me, though. I don’t try because
I’m better online. Rent Finding Nemo.
Makes me think the bullying PSAs by

all the famous people are working. I
didn’t even realize there was a backlash.
Or uprising. People have to get upset
about something. One of my neighbors was all

“Not in my neighborhood” one day, Otto
and I walking hand in hand down the street.
Color my quick retort mode lazy. Hell yeah
in my neighborhood, hello bitch! I still jump

at faggot or feel all hurt inside. I don’t reclaim
fucked up words, either. Which is entirely false.
I mean I don’t make them. And they don’t make me.
Okay, shit, then we just vacuum on all fours. Shut up.

Otto and I walking hand in hand down our street.

mcdlvi

WORMOCALYPSE
       —Jessea Perry on Facebook

I don’t know who anyone is
but I can agree on a few things.
WORMOCALYPSE.

mcdlv

His face got really wide.   He
does have a really wide face
for such a grossing sex figure.

I’m really stressed out.   From
personal life, probably, and
artwork.   Artstress.   That’s,

no, that’s not right.   Artwife.
I’m moving into Otto now,
like.   Not the scene, exactly

(Tho, yes, we nod at how
does he merit this space.
Nice divorce?)   Possibly

heightened by private
life.   That’s probably
out, though.   A request

for fidelity?   Everyone
is worried about it
because, hello, BIG FLIRT.

mcdliv

I Could Go On

I’ve done this before. Not
Invasion of the Body Snatchers,
or anything worth remembering.
Is there a spreadsheet somewhere
of all of my movies?

Tonight’s chicken alfredo from
the deviled eggs. “Lean on a
comedian.” Also, reunion of
deviled eggs two nights in a row.
And hamhocks.

Now I’ve started counting San
Francisco on my toes. I hope
one doesn’t fall off (been watching
too many movies). This week every film
is Pandora’s Box. But better. I hope.

Is this what happens when your brain
gets stocky? Noted that Troy’s is a
pot brownie which causes arguments
at the beach. Flirting is dangerous
at a clothing optional beach.

It’s supposed to be a gag. Instead
I’m snuffled up, hard, with sand
in the crack of my butt. Called
FedEx. Requested all my extra
money to come here ASAP.

mcdliii

I now support my working spirit.
Plus I can no longer tell ‘native jokes’.
This gets me in part rejuvenated –
more than somewhat.   Also,

the movie previews really wowed me
today.   I was riveted by Black Swan?
Is it too early to check with the critics?
Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.

Does someone really have a publicist?
Whatever I’m feeling I’m reading.   It’s
okay at times.   But my checkbook
walks on last week’s legs.

mcdlii

But then it was too easy...

With bird noises and trolley noises
on the cafe’s loudspeaker.   THIS
RIGHT NOW and my mind
clearing (like a tomato).

Jack off in town.   New players,
too.   Not entirely different nor
erstwhile dynamic.   The laundry
will be different.

When another sketch of a face
becomes another several stickmen.
In squad cars.   Which right now is
PEACE and dynamic.   Good is

still ‘we’ – but not ‘still’, right?
I code your ear right?   ‘Right.’

mcdli

Get the Lead Out

I feel a dead end
with drinking batteries.
Everyone gets there
sometimes.   Why waste
something peaceful?

mcdl

Was it that I toughed it out?   I mean
long enough for a good word?   I
never did.   My PEERS became
different people (instead).

Staple in fours but think kinky.
Dissasociate Waikiki.

I’ve never been to Hawaii.   We
gorge on all fours.   One of my
nostrils is clogged.   On paper.

Your words form a perfect spider
on the blurry square in my vision.
One would argue cute and fluffy.

I argue on paper.   I wish these
were just conversations with
myself.   Otto home watching
cartoons.   Which this morning
were drinking.

mcdxlix

Make it Blow Up

It’s something we can do now.
A loud sparrow at my feet
after seven years of poem.
My brother in the dementia

I might as well be.   Can this
photographer make me look
as good as Metallica?   On
the 38 bus?   I pass on politics.

But I don’t mind starting again.
An attitude?   I’m ashamed I
never did.   Throw up.   Throw
up your hands.   Hand over fist

over toilet seat.   Sleep while I
tell you this.   This movie
dangles like a spider
in front of a black SUV.

mcdxlviii

Word. I do appreciate you’re
stuck w/nowhere to go. I
try to tell you the...
impossible. Why’s it so hard?

These little things in my head
as I am. A gutted swan to...
think about being blessed?
My blessing is now Banana

Strawberry Lowfat not just
plain ordinary try to explain
why the words get so...
pinched. H&M clothes

never last. But who wants
underwear seven years?