—Forrest Gander
If the cops don’t talk about
sexism, who will? Feeling
very clear, relatively.
Email untaught me
how to complete a
sentence. Texting
sucks. I broke two
thumbs trying to
come up with a
cure for flying. And
when I finally made
the discovery, it
lost me two jobs. Disc-
rimination against drug
use (it was just a silly
anecdote about Xanax).
What, no howl? I
suppose I should be
in on the joke by now.
My attempts at comedy
often run afoul. Here,
take a look at this graph
of the people I have
offended the most.
