Decaying City Leads
to Apocalypse was
nearly today’s head-
line. No, wait, here
it is. Homeless in the
Golden State cause
World War III. Hoo
hah. Fake HUD re-
port razes homes for
homelessness. But
where to really begin?
Per capita, our freshly
dead year’s homeless
rates are higher in NY,
HI, and DC than in CA.
Truth hurts. My sore
thumb! My eye! My
my! My oh my! Sulu
fights Kirk with a sword.
It is in a place called
the starship Utopia
where Groucho, Zeppo,
and Hippo are all born
(same day, actually).
“You’re not having
a heartattack ack ack
ack,” he says to
me, quoting Colonel
Sanders, “you’re
just having fun with
the facts.” To
which I respond with
a gasp and a wheeze
(sarcastically). All
the while, King Duck
(birth name: Little Birdie
Cries Wolf) opens back
door, gauging the equa-
tion, mocking the eleph-
ant (the pink one who
sleeps in the room the
shape of a giant egg),
thinks the buskers
are baristas, that
sort of thing. Oh,
my aching egg-
head, I literally
hear the actual
headline whine
to me with a sigh
(I’ll wager the
Lincoln Bedroom is
wishing right now
that it were high).
Skull sucks,
say the kids
as they arrive
from school
(elementary
w/o element;
no substance),
imaginary text-
books in pocket.
Such textuality,
tweets Professor
Fonda to all the
sixteen-year old
girls, beheadedly.
My oh my, indeed,
thinks the world,
wordlessly, watch-
ing the acclaimed
new biopic: My Oh
Myopia!
