mmmccxxvii

Why Fuss with Taxing the Rich, When They’ve
        Already Been Paid So Generously?

remember those “bank errors in your favor” –
from that ever timely (and timeless!) board game
from which we each and all learned the most
hard-won lessons in life, love and the pursuit
of frivolity, materiality and happiness?

I am speaking to you all, of course, about
Monopoly (which should not be confused
with Life, a similar game which, that has 

been around since around 1860, and on which

Milton Bradley apparently holds the monopoly;

I might add, and you may be surprised to learn, 

that Life, it turns out, is an older board game

than Monopoly), that grand old game that serves 

as a comprehensive and brilliantly appropriate

compendium of general educational relevance
for most all of us, and which was owned with 

exclusivity, by the esteemed Brothers Parker

until they were, in turn, purchased by Hasbro

in 1991.*

needless to say, both families, the Parkers
and the Bradleys, thanks especially to these
particular monopolies, are tycoons, are among 

the richest on the very same planet upon which 

the unlucky remainder of us reside.

and speaking of misfortune, back to those bank
errors. surely most all of you can recall picking
up one of the yellow cards, the ones in the
Community Chest pile, only to joyously discover 

that your kind-hearted bank, bless the souls of 

each and all of its hard-working citizens, had made 

a booboo and that you, a person who could certainly 

use an extra dollar or two, too, are the immediate 

recipient of the spoils collected from you by your 

financial institution given an accidental and human 

error.

(and aren’t you lucky, because they have caught said 

issue, and are therefore promptly making amends by 

promptly paying you back, and with such pomp and 

general ado!)

well, I have no idea if that actually ever happens,
given my experience, and without doing any
further research

but, and we’re still talking about the game of
Monopoly here, I, myself, can relate much more
with errors or fees that are not in my favor.

a prime example is drawing the card, as anyone
might, and as you all most likely have on occasion,
from the pile marked alluringly and expectantly 

“Chance,” demanding that the you “pay poor tax 

of $15” (which, I can only assume is a ridiculously 

inaccurate number that in no way accounts for 

inflation).

poor tax, indeed! I’d hazard a hypothesis that a
more redundant pair of words has yet to be 

combined.

lest you think that I am speaking from somewhere
outside of my sphere of knowledge over here, let
me just remind (as I love to do as often as it might
come up) that I myself all but finished my studies 

toward an actual degree in chemistry before I 

switched majors to the more reliable Dramatic Arts.

as tax day is soon upon us, we now have a few fine 

words from our sponsor, ladies and gentleman: here 

are the partners Clampitz, Pittance and Shrew, with 

some helpful tax season hints for you.

we’ll be right back in just a jiffy.

*The history of Monopoly can be traced back to 1903, when 

  American antimonopolist Lizzie Magie created a game which 

  she hoped would explain the single-tax theory of Henry George. 

  It was intended as an educational tool to illustrate the negative 

  aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies. She took 

  out a patent in 1904. Her game, The Landlord’s Game, was self-

  published, beginning in 1906. 

                                       (from the Wikipedia entry for Monopoly)