mmmcdlxii

xmas isolatus

3rd year this
place; 5th one
displaced. mean
ing what? in the
right place can’t
be. shoved out of
one place into no
place for starters.
2nd one here, my
little coffin of a
home, always
warm, generally
too hot, really,
today, incredib
ly pleasant. the
white noise of
fans (2, one is
a miniature ver
sion of the other)
and the louder
white noise mak
er on the fridge
(originally an
air purifier, a
gift from a
hoodlum;
he stole it
from a swank
hotel room he
stayed in one
christmas),
further away,
yet almost
blanketing
the sound of
the mama &
baby fans at
my feet. may
be it wasn’t
xmas or even
a holiday when
he stole the air
purifier. i don’t 

think that it’s
even been
turned off
since last
christmas.
when you’
ve a small
space you
learn to
make do,
to organize, 

but when you’

re in a space for
so many months 

at a time without
a single visitor, 

you begin to 

sweep random 

clutter as you pace
from desk to doorway 

and then from door

way back to desk. 

i resolve, there

fore to be much
more organized
henceforth (a

resolution!).
only once 

you’ve the 

luxury of
having a

home may
you strive
for greater,
more comp
licated goals.
organization,
love, escape.
these are my
resolutions.
may they
arrive at a
swifter rate
than a 5th
thus xmas

in this space.
in fact, i re
solve here
and now
that i know
myself well
enough,
and that
there shall
not ever be
a 6th, no,
not even a 

5th (nor 4th)
christmas day 

thusly spent 

in solitary

confine
ment.

(sigh,

i lie.)
resol
utions
have
been
estab
lished.

and ha

ve failed

resolutely.

merry xmas.
happy new year.