mmmdxv

dickering with deflation

          faith “flickers”
                  —Erica Lewis

all day i feel
more or less
despicable.

so what do
i do? first,
i deflate

my wealth.
then i try
bragga

docio and

follow that

with a bout

of grandiose
weeping. i
chase what

i try to be
lieve is my
confidence

around and
around in
this tiny

complex,
to abso
lutely no

avail. i
try to
be. i

try to
be. i
am the

why who
tries, i

imagine.

i decide

to cry un
til i die

trying.
but not
before

i pause
and curt
sy, as if

on cue, to
my dear
audience,

which is
of course
to say

at you.