I can but imagine,
it’s not difficult at
all, what folks might
think of me and my
long-drawn out job
search. “I’ve an in
terview today,” as
I say quite often,
and it’s always true.
But I’ve had a lot of
interviews. “Why
doesn’t he have a
job by now?” It’s
a question I’ve
heard direct, so I
can but, as I say,
imagine that there
may be a few more
than those two or
three with whom I
actually converse,
and it’s a pretty
ubiquitous subject,
it comes up, and
even then I find it
impossible to relay
why precisely this
primary objective
for which I do work
at such a clip to
achieve has yet to
make its way solidly
into my lap. I have
throughout the entire
ty of my search gone
about practical means
to improve the way I go
about sending resumes,
participating in interviews,
and, truth be told, I’ve
gotten better and better
at this godforsaken
process, I’ve learned
what my own obstacles
tend to be: anxiety,
meandering, dispens
ing anecdotes when all
that’s likely expected is
a simple, straightforward
answer. I’ve learned to be
succinct, to listen attentive
ly and to only speak when
a question is directed solely
at me. I’ve learned not to
interrupt, a problem I am
quite good at, so not to
interject except for the
occasional quick word of
agreement when it seems
okay or appropriate. But
the truth is you can never
really know precisely what
your interviewer is looking
for in a response. When
logic might say that an
answer should of course
be affirmative, truly enough,
what might be looked for
by the questioner could
be an unwavering negative.
And then there’s the fact
that the whole process is
a game in which you are
a character that is not
really made up of me.
That it is a made-up me
that the interviewers
expect and want to
see, to hear, and
sure, I have two
degrees in theatre,
as it turns out, basic
ally because I enjoyed
portraying someone I
was not – but onstage!
Elsewise, I’ve lived a
life of learning how to
present me as myself,
and even after years
and years of practice
at this, I still find even
that task quite comp
licated and often all
but impossible. So
I keep attempting to
play this game, think
ing I’m getting better
and better at it, and
still haven’t anything
to show for it. This
was never how I
used to procure
employment before,
that’s for sure. Any
way, this little medi
tation must end, and
post haste, as, wouldn’t
you know it, but my
anxiety levels have
reached near red-level
proportions simply by
attempting to relay to
you that when I say I
am still looking or that
I have a third interview
tomorrow or three this
week, none of this is pre
varication, but literal
and true. And while I
know we all as humans
are prone to be judged
or at times disbelieved,
I shall live with that, but
not without an attempt to
set the record straight. On
that note I must get back to
sending out resumes, prior
ities being what they, for
better or worse, are over
here. Wish me luck, if
you might; I can use all
that I can get. And you’ll
be hearing from me again
in short time. Good night.
that the whole process is
a game in which you are
a character that is not
really made up of me.
That it is a made-up me
that the interviewers
expect and want to
see, to hear, and
sure, I have two
degrees in theatre,
as it turns out, basic
ally because I enjoyed
portraying someone I
was not – but onstage!
Elsewise, I’ve lived a
life of learning how to
present me as myself,
and even after years
and years of practice
at this, I still find even
that task quite comp
licated and often all
but impossible. So
I keep attempting to
play this game, think
ing I’m getting better
and better at it, and
still haven’t anything
to show for it. This
was never how I
used to procure
employment before,
that’s for sure. Any
way, this little medi
tation must end, and
post haste, as, wouldn’t
you know it, but my
anxiety levels have
reached near red-level
proportions simply by
attempting to relay to
you that when I say I
am still looking or that
I have a third interview
tomorrow or three this
week, none of this is pre
varication, but literal
and true. And while I
know we all as humans
are prone to be judged
or at times disbelieved,
I shall live with that, but
not without an attempt to
set the record straight. On
that note I must get back to
sending out resumes, prior
ities being what they, for
better or worse, are over
here. Wish me luck, if
you might; I can use all
that I can get. And you’ll
be hearing from me again
in short time. Good night.
