mmmdcli

Here’s a Funny Head Feeling

that I’m having right now
and have decided to just
go with it.  were you perhaps

expecting me to describe 

the funny head feeling to you? 

sorry.  sometimes i just go about 

this jabbering on like there’s 

nobody here but me.  well,
there is no one here but me.

I suppose I do this in hopes
of being heard.  to engage.
which is what i really want,

I suppose, spouting this,

my usual nonsense.  a

means to talk, to hang,

to engage.  yeah.  that must be 

what i am attempting to do. 

to have a conversation.

it’s just that lately those do

not exist.  not for me, anyway.

they used to be the biggest turn-on.

(I am socially awkward yet
extroverted, in case you

are not aware or didn’t 

recall.)  to engage is to 
learn.  to get to know.  it

can be done with flirtation

as well.  but however it happens,

it is a way in which I become

educated, I get to know, 

it quells curiosity, it is social,

can be romantic or more

basically enlightening,

a means to improve,
to evolve, which i
often believe is possible. 

but then, so, there i
was, deciding to go with 

this funny feeling in my head.

and here i am still
going on about it,
even after admitting

to you (to whom?)
that, while it’d be
lovely to get some

sort of response,
or counter, a little
witty repartee

(like back in the
day), i had forgot
ten to whom i was

even addressing
all this stuff about
the funny feeling

in my head.  which
is more of a combination 

of feelings, like a head

ache, for one, and
a nostalgic memory
for another, along

with a feeling that
is distinctly stress
ful.  and occasionally

there is what an old coll

ege chemistry professor of
mine used to say when he

completely forgot what he

was saying, mid-sentence

sometimes: he’d stare

at the class blankly
for an awkwardly ex
tended amount of time

and then, without even
a seeming tinge of emotion
he’d say “two trains just 

collided in my head.”
then he’d go back to his
desk and sit down and

refer back to his notes,

and after some time he

would carry on.  whatever

this all of the above that

I describe going on in my

own head, it’s at times like 

these that i half expect to 

hear an answer, a response,

some dialog, something to

which i can then volley,
and the words would be
tossed about well into

the night.  except
then i’d have a bit
more than just a

funny feeling in
my head.  don’t
you expect? 

anyway, it would
appear that i owe
a bit of gratitude

to you, whomever
you are, real or un
real, here or not

here, because I have

lost the funny feeling

and now feel quite

comfortable, all cured.
for the moment anyway. 

i think? how can I be sure?

oh, well.  laughter is the best
medicine. music makes the 

people come together.

an apple a day keeps 

the doctor away.  my head. 

always up in the sky. dear

feet, please do your best 

to remain on solid ground.
now.  where was i?