is just the title of a YouTube clip
I whiz past this morning. I say “whiz”
because I don’t stop to watch it, but
am instead just scrolling through the
trough of video clips—a set made
just for me (woohee!)—as if zipping
through rush hour traffic on my way
to work. Probably, also, as in “Gee
whiz,” an expression which some of
you might remember nostalgically
(fewer and fewer of you, though).
I haven’t actually driven myself
through rush hour traffic in many
years. Over a decade, I’d say.
And as for literally on my way
to work, it’s probably been more
like thirty years. Yeah. These
are just facts. The likely (almost
certain, I quickly assess, having
just now thought about it, taking
a short second to self-analyze)
reason I’m scrolling through the
videos is for inspiration. So that
is, at a minimum, almost a fact.
Although, come to think of it, is
it possible to have an “almost”
fact? So now I second guess
myself and this set of so-called
facts until I have gotten quite
disoriented and off-track; have,
in fact, wasted about an hour
now down this rabbit hole. I’ll
work my way back out of it, in
all likelihood, eventually, open
up my list of things that must
be done, stare into the screen
at the stuff at the top of the list,
all bolded and probably italicized,
that is stacked just under a header
that says “must do today” (in larger
font, also bolded, probably in all
caps and followed by two or three
exclamation points) until the
pixels swivel and swirl around
and the words in each line item
become fuzzy and illegible. That’s
when I decide it might be a good
time for a nap. And so I slowly work
my way from a sitting-in-bed-with-
trough of video clips—a set made
just for me (woohee!)—as if zipping
through rush hour traffic on my way
to work. Probably, also, as in “Gee
whiz,” an expression which some of
you might remember nostalgically
(fewer and fewer of you, though).
I haven’t actually driven myself
through rush hour traffic in many
years. Over a decade, I’d say.
And as for literally on my way
to work, it’s probably been more
like thirty years. Yeah. These
are just facts. The likely (almost
certain, I quickly assess, having
just now thought about it, taking
a short second to self-analyze)
reason I’m scrolling through the
videos is for inspiration. So that
is, at a minimum, almost a fact.
Although, come to think of it, is
it possible to have an “almost”
fact? So now I second guess
myself and this set of so-called
facts until I have gotten quite
disoriented and off-track; have,
in fact, wasted about an hour
now down this rabbit hole. I’ll
work my way back out of it, in
all likelihood, eventually, open
up my list of things that must
be done, stare into the screen
at the stuff at the top of the list,
all bolded and probably italicized,
that is stacked just under a header
that says “must do today” (in larger
font, also bolded, probably in all
caps and followed by two or three
exclamation points) until the
pixels swivel and swirl around
and the words in each line item
become fuzzy and illegible. That’s
when I decide it might be a good
time for a nap. And so I slowly work
my way from a sitting-in-bed-with-
my-laptop-in-front-of-me pose to a
lying-horizontal-with-laptop-beside-
me pose, getting drowsier and
drowsier until I . . . .
