I’m looking good today,
strutting my stuff after
surgery. I’ve been told
that most employment
involves a lot of cleaning
bathrooms. Once you
reach the point where
‘doing the right thing’
is not quite as ‘forward-
looking’ as it used to be,
then it’s well within your
rights to become villainous.
A villain, however, must be
able to strut his stuff without
a limp (unless he’s younger
then 40 and looks ‘well-worn’).
Furthermore, said gait should
not involve a series of painful
grimaces. His bills should be
neatly stacked upon the dining
room table in a standard spot
that is slightly off-center, but
each bill for no longer than until
the date which it is due. However,
this stack should gently increase its
height over time. The kitchen and
living room will be wholly redesigned
no less than once every five years.
February is generally a good month
for this to occur. Success is only
implied until the new table has been
complimented two dozen separate
times, each by different guests
on different occasions. Once the
third kitchen/living room redesign
has transpired, there should be
no more bills, not even one, not
ever, atop the dining table.
