mmmmxviii

That Soothing Feeling

“Hey, guess what?
We’re all gonna die!”

Which was not un
common to hear

in the lounge. I
sat there most

days: mornings,
afternoons and

early evenings.
I slept at that

other place,
the place

where I slept.
Most nights.

This structure
kept me alive

and hopeful
for nearly a

decade. Then,
I suppose, was

when I woke up,
realized structure’s

monotony. But I
do not want a frontal

lobotomy. I cried
myself to sleep for

a few weeks after
that. It was during

these soggy
moments that

I felt most
alive. And

when I’d
awaken

I was baking,
as if I’d been

shoved into
an oven, my

body gleaming
with sweat. I’d

slide from my
broken bed

into the day
with a sense

of eloquence
that I’d almost

forgotten I
had lost. And

as each day

progressed,

I’d encounter a
host of additional

problems, the
minutes flattening

into hours. And so
it was with purpose

that the things
that bound me

slowly began
to dissolve.

I carried on
in this way,

each day more
enlightened

and sure-
footed until,

at last, you
found me here.