mmmmxlix

The Feminine Annex

walking through tokyo one afternoon
i passed the feminine annex.  there
didn’t seem to be a lot going on.  i
was very tempted to steamroll into
the facility with all of the femininity
that i could muster, which, truth be
told, would surely have been
quite a disaster, a total
embarrassment.  but femininity is an

indelible aspect of who i am, even as

the notion might be overly cliché. but 

i like to think it is the way i roll. only i 

didn’t  roll that way on that day.  perhaps i 

think too highly of myself.  one thing that

i can say about this subject is that any time 

spent in attempt of getting in touch with 

my feminine side, however that might exist

within me might be difficult or awkward, 

but i do believe it to be an invaluable thing

upon which to spend focused time. 

doing whatever small things one might
perhaps do as a man toward such an
end, the work, placing myself in not-
so-comfortable yet notably imaginary constructs, 

anything to get a better understanding of
those who are different from who i am, 

both inherently, physically, whether by 

birth or upbringing,
in the decidedly much more
difficult world it is to find
oneself, as far as can be
imagined, without the
luxury of being able to
cloak oneself within the
comforting blanket or fog
of being male or female or 

whatever cloak you are inhabiting

or go about inhabiting, and all that

might entail, it is good stuff to try,

to consider, to think on in earnest. so, 

anyway, it’s too bad i didn’t find
myself entering that lobby, marching
into the feminine annex,
but i do spend time wondering
what that experience might have been,
should i have taken such a
bold and perhaps even
unwelcome move. do
i seem at all threatening
to you? i have my few
requisite radical notions,
which come and go now
and again. and i try to
remain as hopeful and as
open-minded as possible,
with a bent toward being
more patient with those
who are dissimilar to me,
which i assume would cover 

a lot of population, so the possibilities are
endless regarding how one might attempt
to understand even a small portion of 

difference, especially a difference between

me and those with any disadvantage, that pulls

folks anywhere closer to the margins than,

say, i am.  each time i try, which is not
even enough of a regular occurrence, no

matter how often i do, it also becomes obvious
that i’ll never really understand, and it is,

in the end, while good to spend time in such
contemplation, also arrogant, and even
sometimes inappropriate to even think i
have begun to get at it, these differences.
this is just one man’s way of looking
at such things so as to attempt to
know, to engage, and to empathize.
and as long as i keep doing it, surely
i’ll become in some small way better for it.
i might even be a small voice toward change 

for those who do not have it so easy as me. 

at any rate, even if it’s an untrusted and elitist

notion, i do think the more understanding
we all have the more equanimity will exist.
my voice is small and mostly inconsequential
in the grand scheme. but that won’t
stop me from trying.