And it’s also a picture of an artist that’s...not creating their art,
which is the scariest thing in the world.
—Richard Linklater (of Bernadette from Where’d You Go
Bernadette, a novel by Maria Semple)
I’m not sure. What is my dream. I have lots of them.
And if I have lots of them, then, isn’t the primary dream
just to create and be; to make art. To be. To exist in the
best and most pleasant way possible, and that can’t be all
the time, pleasant, best, because that’s impossible, hence
the need for the goal. But is the goal the art that gets made
or is the goal to be the artist that makes these things? How
much of a problem is the creator problem? So that dream,
these dreams, the creator one, the artist one, the being
an artist dream, that never ends, as far as I can tell. Being
a part of that, the art, what gets me going, being able to say
“I’m someone that makes that,” or better still “I made that.”
Very problematic, especially with no other context. So, what
is that? And what does it matter, anyway. Because is that
really the dream? Of course it isn’t. That is a means to an
end, a way toward the real dream. Which is really quite
simple, isn’t it? I mean, for me. My dream, and no, it will
never end, is engagement. It may not go without saying
that whatever it is that I might create, well, the hope is
that it is something that propels. Toward a greater good.
I can say that. It’s true. But nothing propels or can propel
toward a better way than by involving oneself with other
humans in an intimate manner. Or creating something
that engages others or, hopefully, engages me with other
people. That is the goal. Engagement. On all levels. And
in each of these levels, at each moment, whether subtly
(because you can’t go hard every single time) or hammer-
on-head redundant, it is always, always, always intentionally
and strategically as deep as you can get. Go all the way.
Being impossible, like nirvana, as I always say. But it’s
still the goal. It’s still the dream. Do something with that.
And that never dies. Never. Or not, at any rate, until I do.
