Sorry for running away. Sorry for
going off the grid the entire time
I was in the Southern Hemisphere.
Sorry for all of the worship. Sorry
for being a pacifist (and bypassing
all warships). Sorry for being a
nincompoop. Sorry for being so
versatile. Sorry for the humor. I
apologize for being so damned
hilarious. Sorry about your mom.
Sorry about my dad. Sorry about
the whole gay thing. Sorry for not
being an adult until I was in my mid-
thirties. Sorry that you weren’t born
until after my mid-thirties. Just kid
ding, not really sorry about that one.
Sorry not sorry. Sorry, Aunt Jeanne
and Uncle David, for throwing rice
on the two of you as you exited the
church after Aunt Patti’s wedding.
Sorry about divorce. In general.
Sorry about the whole good versus
evil dichotomy. Do you think it’s
okay not to be apologetic about
how fun it is to be “bad” some
times? Sorry about the heated
“debates.” Sorry about the non-
violence. Sorry about Jimmy
Carter. Sorry about Nancy
Reagan and Tipper Gore.
I’m really sorry about
politics. Sorry I’ve be
come such a hermit.
Sorry that I have so
many things I’m sorry
about. Sorry for 2025.
