mmmmdcclxxxv

Seagulls

I live by the ocean.  Not
directly on the beach or
anything, but within a few
short miles, maybe five.

This new apartment is the 

first place I’ve lived in 25 

years in which I actually 

use a heater on occasion. 

I'm not sure why I men

tion that part.  It is just a

thought that I had.  Some

thing to communicate.  This 

morning is quite the occasion. 

I can hear birds squawking 

in the distance, a whole lot
of them, and I hear tires

screeching.  Just the one
time.  But otherwise, it’s
quiet.  Okay, there’s an
occasional car passing

in front of my apart

ment building.  The

alley that i live next to,

you see, is a bit of a

sound trap.  I’m a block
from the mayor’s office,
so, on weekends especially,
there are these protests,

and some of them can

get pretty loud.  I hear
those; I don’t get out too
much.  Not like I used to.

And anyway, those birds,
they remind me of some
thing familiar, having grown 

up in a landlocked state in

the middle of a country—
where I was born, still call
home; well, I’m from there,
but now I’ve lived here more

than I lived there.  Same place,
in a way, same country.  But
now it’s just that I live by the
ocean.  In a city I truly love. 

With apologies to all of my 

family and to everyone with 

whom I spent my youth, I no 

longer like going back, really.  

Well, it’s more complicated than 

that.  Some things are.  Also, 

I’ve been through some tough

times here.  Many wonderful

times.  Mostly wonderful.  
But thanks to the not-so
great ones some occasion

al pangs get mixed in 

with the love and and the

happiness and contentment 

that I have about my city. 

Occasionally, when that 

bitterness, which never
takes me over, becomes 

just a bit of a burden, I’ll 

trek out to the beach, sit

on the sand, watch the 

waves roll in.  Like me, 

they’ve come quite a ways 

to get here. And I really 

appreciate them.  I like the 

roil and the spindrift-dark

ened beauty of it all.  It 

gets chilly there, most 

days.  I mean, I don’t go 

all that much.  But when

I’m there, I can just
watch it for hours, the

massive, magical, sinister, 

monstrous living thing
that is the ocean.  The
one that I’m pretty

much always aware of,
my bearings always so
dependent on the fact

of its existence in my

vicinity.  It’s there.  I’m 

here.  In a place where 

I’ve withstood a few not-

so-silly challenges just to 

remain.  I can’t imagine 

living without it.  My city,

and the ocean that it 

touches.  Yeah, that’s 

what I wanted to say,

that’s what those seagulls
are telling me to tell you:
how happy I am to be here.