from grabbing some snacks and
nearly walking into a gal on the
sidewalk, the spitting image of
Leah. It stopped me cold. I
thought for a moment, I might
shed a tear, but I don’t believe
in ghosts, really, and while sad
to be reminded she’d been gone
how long now? And way too soon,
so young. I wouldn’t have shed a
tear, probably shouldn’t have said
that, but I was stunned. And more
than appreciated the triggered
reminiscence. The era she was
one of the folks with whom I’d
enjoy the fortune of her presence
were good ones, although dwelling
a bit long on those days the happiness
gets entangled with bittersweet residue,
simply because there were people, and
a good number, with whose presence I
had the good fortune to experience back
then. But I do try, am working to build
a new coalition of cohorts. It’s ard to
think I’ll ever have a new chosen
family like I did; and that’d certainly
be for the best, given how it turned out.
I suppose that, try as one might, one
shouldn’t cling too earnestly on those
with whom we might feel tightly and
convincingly connected. It has always
taken me quite a while to warm up to
individuals, even when there used to
be plenty who worked hard at getting
close. But despite my longstanding
attempt to build a bond that I might
call my own, my home, my cherished,
and watching each and all vanish in
nearly an instant, seemingly, and me
in the depths I hope never to sink at
any point ever again, I know I will
keep trying, keep believing it’s
possible. Oh, woe is me, you might
think I’m thinking. I am not. It was
lovely to see her again, my old friend.
Happy memories warm the soul. And
provide the motivation to make more.
In the meantime, it’s good to be aware
I’m yet here, am no ghost, much as,
at times, it might appear that I am.
I’d like to keep it that way for as long
as I will, remembering to remember
mostly with peace and with joy, even
when sitting in solitude, resting up
for tomorrow, when perhaps I’ll look
you in the eye, say hello, and then,
well, who knows?
