mmmmdcccxlix

A Few Things to Keep

All of one’s values thrown out a window

isn’t so strange after an encounter with a

blood-curdling scream.  Tossing them at such 

a moment has a certain logic to it, I would 

even venture. The opposite could happen, too.

Whoa! Suddenly something means (something).

Pretty profound, eh?  Surely values might vanish

for much lesser reasons (lesser occasions; lesser

perceived horizons, etc.); yet in times like these 

I seem to be holding on to those I’ve accumulated, 

and for dear life. This may well be because I feel 

ulmine have come hard-earned (But who would

say otherwise about their own?).  I do know

all too well how a little flash-bang can be the 

catalyst for the sudden obliteration of a few

well-worn beliefs, belongings, lives and whatnot.

And that the ways of my being and of my wanting 

to be, at odds as they may so at times be with

each other, have me currently quite intent upon

keeping everything I can of what I’ve spent a

lifetime working to make for myself and this

world a somewhat solid self which I can

present as my own. I cannot say that these

properties, this system I have created in

order to justify my tiny life, are many,

but they are just about all I have by

now, and I’m damned glad to have

them.  In fact, it’s comforting, a

relief in many ways, to have

anything at all these days. 

And that is a rare thing 

that I can (and do) 

assert no small 

amount of

conviction.