The Latest Excuses
- Pizzahut.com ate my homework
- Oh, we both have business trips that week
- She was just showing me her new shower curtain
- Okay, everyone, IT’S HOT TUB TIME!
- I swear, we thought they’d stay on the island
- Fog
- Hello, fifty-eight years old and beaten with a selfie stick
- I wanna say that seven ate nine?
- AI made me do it
- There wasn’t enough room for the teevee
- Somebody spilled the ketchup
- At least I still have my library card
- We took the scenic route
- Miley Cyrus
- Everyone says you need to see that in the actual cinema
- But food tastes so much better in California
- I ran out of patches
- I think I’m on a cruise that month
- They stopped making pennies
- I’m so sorry, but I have a tongue in my mouth
- Got run over on the subway
- He was born late
- Just talking to the hand
- I had to clean the litter box
- Somebody’s been screwing with my algorithm
- I’m so sorry, but I already have a tongue in my mouth
