mmmmcmxx

Early Morning Sweats

Shot up out of sleep but not bed where
I remained for a while having a panic attack 

with suddenly everything I have to do (again, 

like an echo). I’d been up most of the night

working out on paper in coordination with my

big spreadsheet some sort of budget that night 

progressed into morning began to feel less and less 

manageable.  It’s manageable. But is it? No. Like 

that....  This is a similar feeling to the one I was
having last week during the meltdown.  There was

a meltdown?  Is this what’s really happening?  Is 

this how I’m really feeling?  No.  I’m stressed

about friends and the lack thereof. About long-
term goals that remain unmet. About how to pick up 

some coffee, Splenda, half & half, laundry detergent,
call the overdue card people.   The numbers, though.....