I didn’t even see ten. And for these
past few non-cinematic years, I kept
thinking this fair, this new era of filmic
dearth (one among many), given that I’ve
seen well more than my fair share over the
years, as a student of cinema – or being so
cinema-adjacent most of my life. However,
this year’s lists make me jealous, make me
feel the demise of yet another thing obvious
lacking that I’ve been existing through, the
not living of it all. There are so many things
that have turned this existence into unliving,
and yet I guiltily feel this is a stricture wholly
and yet I guiltily feel this is a stricture wholly
created in my mind, not real, that I could
find a way to believe that I am living if I only
put my mind to it. And yet I do know better.
