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Top Ten Movies of the Year

I didn’t even see ten.  And for these past
few non-cinematic years, I kept thinking 

this fair, this new era of filmic dearth (one 

dearth among many), given that I’ve 

seen well more than my fair share over the 

years, as a student of cinema – or being so 

cinema-adjacent most of my life.  However,

this year’s lists make me jealous, make me

feel the demise of yet another thing obviously 

lacking that I’ve been existing through, the 

not living of it all.  There are so many things 

that have turned this existence into unliving,

and yet I guiltily feel this is a stricture wholly 

created in my mind, not real, that I could 

find a way to believe that I am living if I only 

put my mind to it.  And yet I do know better.