mmmmcmlii

Night

Is it balcony or baloney?
I put my glasses on.  It’s
a balcony.  That’s no fun.
I’ve not one of those.

Neither do I.  Not a bit
of baloney, though.  Let’s
begin again as if night
goes on forever.  My

legs crossed in front of
the laptop, the upper 
portion of my right 

shoulder, the part that cons

with my neck, pained, almost

to spasm (but not quite).  I 

rub aspirin cream over it. 

Which sometimes helps.  It’s

the salve that I have.  What
else?  Oh, it’s night.  Another
hour to midnight.  I’ll be up
a while, having slept most

of a 3-day weekend.  Missed
a doctor’s appointment think
ing it was only Monday when
it was Tuesday (and I had

truly thought the appointment
was on Thursday).  I have to deal
with that in the morning.  Along
with several additional disturbances.

I’m here, though.  Should that not be
the end of all of my worries?  That
I exist?  That I’m still here?  I so
wish.  But it’s like I’m looking at

a penny bank, let’s say, as from it
copper pennies fall out of eyesight, in
to a well.  And there isn’t a thing that
can be done about it.  That seems

a fitting enough description.  It’s mad
deningly vague.  To me.  And who else
would it madden?  There’s no one.
So I watch those pennies fall, one

by one, trying as each one disappears, 

to become a little bit okay with such loss.