waiting to meet your mother.” “We
went to bed around Two.” “I’ll bet
that was a vociferous ejaculation.”
It being 12:30am, I warm to that. Who needs
sex to stress you out? But Royal Bitchy is
no hater. [Attempts cold & distant.] Let’s
go for a change of subject. Are you tipsy?
If so, let’s cam. In fact, I’d gotten off
with someone just snuggling. I scored
but I could have been used. I arrive
and walks me into the darkness,
says his friend is meeting us to
take us to his place. “Where does he
live,” I ask. He shakes his finger out
and writes an “O” into the stars with it.
“Somewhere around here,” he says.
Guess what WeightWatchers has
stolen from me. Zelda from the
night sky. I’ve still got the key.
Is that the first of your classmates
to go? Odd seeing that he was 36.
Is that how old I am? I think I’m
just over seven weeks now.
“A word of advice?” “About
reducing portions down to within
reason?” “No. Quite simple. Don’t
fall in love with a Simon.”
