mmdclxxxv

(part two)

     I have not forgotten
     we sound
     the same when we say the same things like people of a certain time. As if
     history were not over.
                                                                           —Laura Moriarty

“What’s on the list for today?”
like not knowing a thing
about a great uncle as he passes
in the middle of mostly crying

‘family’ holding their hands in
an obvious imperfect circle around
his death, or how could we ever know
almost any normal event in my life,

(and speaking as a an actor –
am I working toward a more
earned and reasonable hypothetical
or is that just my take), what is the pose or

the tic or the spirit that alerts the lie?
To anyone listening or paying attention.
How diminished that quality is, no matter
your existence, no matter the audience.

Do some find this irrelevant? Certainly!
I see the hands, I hear the protests. So
of course you do, too. But let’s say I barely
know myself. What is this path

towards ‘trust’ (that comfortability
we find in certain others/that
comfortability I find by myself?
Occasionally....)?

Teach me, oh Great Nobody, the
pose that gives the ‘appearance’
of listen, I am being real(!!). That is
, perhaps, I am even being myself.