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Speaking of the Masses. . .

I gained weight over the
holidays. Unemployment
and lots of karaoke nights.

My therapist says this is
terrific news. My doctor
is a bit concerned. My

therapist says I should be
debating the debates (I per-
sonally think I am simply inchi-

ng ever closer to diabetes),
or that I should at least be
watching them. The doc,

on the other hand, and to
this I simply must concur,
says that I should avoid

watching them at all costs,
that I might perhaps watch
a couple of highlights the

next morning and top it
off with a journalistic syn-
opsis from a news site

with which I rarely, if
ever, disagree. He
says (my doctor, that

is) that I should also
avoid watching most
sports (golf and hurling

are apparently ok-
ay). And, as for the
cinema, which I

cannot afford any-
more anyway, he
adds that I avoid

horror and sus-
pense, and esp-
ecially suspense-

ful horror flicks.
Isn’t horror just
death? I wonder.

And isn’t suspense
whatever leads potent-
ially—if not quickly—to

death? I think that at
my session next week I
will avoid these subjects.