Thursday, July 22, 2021

mmmcccii

Honesty

Aside from getting the most joy, the most
pleasure, the most happiness out of life and
of being good and decent, the best I can,
doing what I can to make the world a better
place – aside from striving my best achieving
those goals in as consistent a manner as is
humanly achievable (in tandem, which means
no martyrdom for me) – there is one additional
goal that completes the triumvirate of how I
choose best to live, and that is, quite simply,
being as honest, being as authentically myself
as is feasible, in all areas of my life, both seen
and unseen. Volumes could be written, have been
written, on each of these typical human endeavors
of morality, and because things like pleasure, happi-
ness, joy, decency, good and honesty are so subjective,
several additional volumes could be written more just to
provide detailed rationale for what these mean to me.
The same could be said for how each work together
(particularly since they can so often work against
each other), and also how to balance these 
factions in such a way that they not only do not
compete in any deterrent way, but rather,
remain at all times a priority without causing
too much strain on each other or on self.
I find that these rulers of life,
or ways of being, as complex as each are, can
complement each other in some profound ways.
I know this because these, along with a continual
effort of prolonged and intense and (ideally) lifelong
engagement with other human beings, can be harmonic,
which means of course that I am in my words and deeds,
as often as possible, working with others, while keeping
these regulators of happiness or pleasure, of good or
decency, and of honesty as a guide' they are my very
bible, my religion, my spirituality, which, as it turns
out, are areas in which scientific method can be
applied. Each are quantifiable. For example, joy can
be quantified: I can find the proper amount
of it, of effort or energy that I
require, that I need to use, in
order for the specific and just
as quantifiable results for
which I am aiming, or
what I need to do in
order to achieve
the results, 
those feelings,
that pleasure that
I desire. I’m not
suggesting that I
am perfect, nor do I say
I am quite mathematician
enough to do any of this any-
where near perfectly. But I can
say that if practice does not quite
lead to perfect, then it gets you closer
and closer to it. These attempts to juggle
such lofty ideals can be tried and tried,
ad infinitum, and I can therefore get
better and better at determining for
myself what works and what doesn’t,
and inevitably, or at least until I am
no longer in this world (this religion
assumes that some positive effects
that result from my individual effort
will, in some cases, continue to remain
in effect, so to speak, will be perpetuated,
for at least some length time after my
efforts have been completed, which
could mean that some beneficial
residuals may still be around long
after I am no longer a life on this
planet) - so I have no qualms at all
going about these actions, this work
I do towards perfecting formulae
such that I am continually improving, on
the whole. Now, while I would certainly
love and do indeed endeavor to have
some sort of dialog with you or whom-
ever on this particular matter, and do
not imagine that I am here just to
coax anyone into my way of living,
but for now, this has, at the very
least, been, I do hope, informative.
I really must tell you how fortunate
I feel just to be here, living how I do.
However, I should probably end here
before going into any of the more
nitty-gritty details of how and why
I live this way; how I put it all into
effect, that practice I always keep
trying to perfect. My impetus for
telling you any of this was that
I was thinking about the difficulty
of being honest, how difficult just
that one aspect of this is, how nearly
impossible, even. So I was going to
tell you some things about how I go
about being as honest as is feasible,
being as me as is possible, in actions
and thoughts, whether I am seen
or unseen, as consistently as
I can, at least insofar as doing so
does not in any compromise or tear
down at the other important factors for 
which I continually strive, so long as it doesn’t
cause imbalance in any inordinate fashi-
ion. And the kicker: how best to do it
all in an engagement-forward way. It
all sounds pretty complicated, I guess.
Perhaps it is. But it’s second nature
to me. And, in my opinion, it’s a good
way to live without the requirement for
a belief in something that can neither be
proven nor even seen in any sort of scientific
way. It was the part about being as honest
as is humanly possible or, as I say, feasible,
that got me to writing these particular words,
but instead, what I have given is a very basic
overview of how I try to be best in this life.
And now I am wondering about you, I have
so many questions for you and for you and
for you and for you. Ah, well, there is
always so much to be covered, and
only so much that can. However,
I shall save these and, no doubt,
many other ponderings, for up
and coming days, shall we say?
And you are duly invited, in case you
are of a mind. You may, of course,
drop by whenever you please just
to see me through these words; and
for such as that you have an open
invitation. I always love to have
the opportunity to show you a
little bit more about myself, in
this case specifically, how I keep
myself in check, how I attempt to,
with any consistency, be my
most true self. But as for today,
it is time for me to bid you a
good night and, god-willing,
I’ll see you again tomorrow.

I wish to be happiest, best and most authentic.