...we have zero years left to avoid dangerous climate change...
—renowned climatologist Michael E. Mann
The climate is pretty.
—renowned poet John Ashbery
Of course, this’d be
all your fault! Can’t
leave well enough
alone, can you, Spike?
Curiosity killed the cat,
you numbskull, or hav-
en’t you heard? I say
we hop in that private
jet of yours and head
straight to one of the
poles, it doesn’t mat-
ter one bit to me which,
up or down, you decide,
and we’ll go camping, on
the down-low, just like
we used to do. As al-
ways, I’ll cut the holes
and you’ll make the
harpoons. One of us
had better learn how
to roll sushi, and
pronto! Or, well,
okay, sashimi.
At least we’ve
already a metal
detector some-
where in the
airplane. But
now for the
tricky part:
how the
heck are
we going to
land this thing,
maybe a para-
chute each and
a sleigh? A
pontoon? I
say we bring
an extra para-
chute. No more
dilly-dallying, do
you hear? Let’s
get a move on!
