mmmccclxxvii

mental-mania

the bored bard played up
a fake barf, knowing full
well that the story would
lead somewhere worthwhile,

considering the fact that the
preliminary payola deal was
struck by the number-crunch
ers with a buncha lunks who

didn’t know from shinola
down over at loyola. those
nobodies’d never seen 

nothin’. and ordinarily i

would’ve paid them no
how do you do, but, mind
you, these were not your
ordinary joes, no howdy

doodies these wheeler-
dealers, as the old man so
often would say, always ad
ding “but remember, only

once they defeat us will the
sex be determined.” but then,

lo and behold, as if the barn-door
were left wide open, a mass

ive welcome mat right in
the front of it sayin’ “cows
only! does eat oats and
goats can go blow!”

but there were the go
phers. “oh, bo, how
low can you go?” “i
dunno,” sez barney,

“but we’ve only got
two choices.” barney,

knowing full well what
was coming, wouldn’t

let the poor guy finish.
“lemme guess,” he says,
“it’s either buck up for
some tic-tac-toe,

or swing to your part
ner, do-si-do, and get
the flunky unclucky
duck way the heck

outta there, like jon
athon swift.” percy
overheard the entire
conversation, the walls,

being in all practicality
(a sensibility of which nei
ther of these three clowns
had one solid ounce of,

even if combined, pound
for pound) paper-thin at the
hodge-podge lodge in (none
other than) downtown dodge.