(from 300 More Writing Prompts)
let me think for just a moment.
i like my life, i appreciate its ups
and even its downs. it’s life.
appreciate does not mean
enjoy. the ups are always
enjoyable, the stuff of life,
that gives it and that motivates
it to keep going. the downs
are a bummer, but to put the
obvious reverse spin on such
cycles, you’ve gotta get up
to get down; that is, you’ve
gotta get down to get up.
down is a logical thing one
gets with up. up and down.
down and up. and, anyway,
what i am meaning to say is
that the absurdity of a messy,
seemingly infinite, ugly, and
ridiculous series of roadblocks
and stumbles and fumbles and doors
slammed upon your arrival at almost
all arrivals are like the incessant volley of
ammunition you keep seeing come at you
in long drawn out wars in which you are
destined to be the loser of a protracted
and nonsensical battle – this kind of
never-before-might-it-have-ever-
occurred-to-you that your erstwhile
hard earned (or so you thought)
blessed life was and then so
suddenly is not, this can’t-be-helped
mind-altering absurdity of events
that transpire, seemingly
all at once, or one directly
on top of the other with
a regularity of beat the
rhythm of which i’d
much rather take to a
dancefloor at 3 in the
morning in a city that
has a proliferation of
dancefloors that are
very much alive with
such a moderately quicker
pace than the beat of a normal
heartbeat, or even in a city where
there is no proliferation at all but perhaps only
one dancefloor that is almost always populated
with such individuals bearing such heartbeats
at three a.m. of almost any given saturday
or sunday morning – oh, how i miss that
dancefloor – well, it’s enough to shut one down
for good, enough to cause you to abandon all hope,
but you keep going just vaguely believing that the tide will turn,
a vague belief that gets more and more opaque and unrecognizable
as the duration of this string of horrid is endured. all the while as
you become less and less capable of avoiding the panic that occurs
as you keep telling yourself (louder and louder perhaps?) that this
isn’t how it’s supposed to be, but you’re getting more and more afraid
i like my life, i appreciate its ups
and even its downs. it’s life.
appreciate does not mean
enjoy. the ups are always
enjoyable, the stuff of life,
that gives it and that motivates
it to keep going. the downs
are a bummer, but to put the
obvious reverse spin on such
cycles, you’ve gotta get up
to get down; that is, you’ve
gotta get down to get up.
down is a logical thing one
gets with up. up and down.
down and up. and, anyway,
what i am meaning to say is
that the absurdity of a messy,
seemingly infinite, ugly, and
ridiculous series of roadblocks
and stumbles and fumbles and doors
slammed upon your arrival at almost
all arrivals are like the incessant volley of
ammunition you keep seeing come at you
in long drawn out wars in which you are
destined to be the loser of a protracted
and nonsensical battle – this kind of
never-before-might-it-have-ever-
occurred-to-you that your erstwhile
hard earned (or so you thought)
blessed life was and then so
suddenly is not, this can’t-be-helped
mind-altering absurdity of events
that transpire, seemingly
all at once, or one directly
on top of the other with
a regularity of beat the
rhythm of which i’d
much rather take to a
dancefloor at 3 in the
morning in a city that
has a proliferation of
dancefloors that are
very much alive with
such a moderately quicker
pace than the beat of a normal
heartbeat, or even in a city where
there is no proliferation at all but perhaps only
one dancefloor that is almost always populated
with such individuals bearing such heartbeats
at three a.m. of almost any given saturday
or sunday morning – oh, how i miss that
dancefloor – well, it’s enough to shut one down
for good, enough to cause you to abandon all hope,
but you keep going just vaguely believing that the tide will turn,
a vague belief that gets more and more opaque and unrecognizable
as the duration of this string of horrid is endured. all the while as
you become less and less capable of avoiding the panic that occurs
as you keep telling yourself (louder and louder perhaps?) that this
isn’t how it’s supposed to be, but you’re getting more and more afraid
and then resigned to the good possibility, to the probable fact that
you’ll die trying. as onward you trudge, taking whatever uptick
might occur, worried that it might just be a figment, a fantasy,
knowing another downturn will soon follow, the trough getting
lower and lower, even though you just knew you hit your rock
bottom all those months and years ago, but you nevertheless
all but convince yourself today’s the day, this week is when
it all changes, maybe next year? and maybe so. even
though this may be the reality of what you, of what i
now know of my existence, reality still, can you
believe it, beats fantasy, in my book, i mean,
there is no other way but to be real, and
with any positivity that i can muster,
this is me, and always who i’d rather
be, than any not me i might see on teevee.
is this unreasonable? if so, read it and weep
my friends, because i’m just me, and that
is all i want to be, certainly more than any
other that might be seen on teevee or in fairy tales
or literature or any unreality that might ever be
imagined.
you’ll die trying. as onward you trudge, taking whatever uptick
might occur, worried that it might just be a figment, a fantasy,
knowing another downturn will soon follow, the trough getting
lower and lower, even though you just knew you hit your rock
bottom all those months and years ago, but you nevertheless
all but convince yourself today’s the day, this week is when
it all changes, maybe next year? and maybe so. even
though this may be the reality of what you, of what i
now know of my existence, reality still, can you
believe it, beats fantasy, in my book, i mean,
there is no other way but to be real, and
with any positivity that i can muster,
this is me, and always who i’d rather
be, than any not me i might see on teevee.
is this unreasonable? if so, read it and weep
my friends, because i’m just me, and that
is all i want to be, certainly more than any
other that might be seen on teevee or in fairy tales
or literature or any unreality that might ever be
imagined.
