(from 300 More Writing Prompts)
off-hand i can certainly think of several that
i wish were useless but know better, such as
those silky pillows that you wrap around your
neck for airline flights or (like some people i
know do) for general all around comfort (i mean
they’re hardly ever seen without one, no mat
ter the occasion or location) – especially be
cause the one i ever purchased was so initially
cool to my skin and so refreshing but when,
within mere minutes, my entire head was hot
as blazes and my neck and everywhere the
pillow came into contact with my skin was hot
and sweating profusely; blackberry cellphones,
which for years i always had to have on my
person at all times, in addition to my person
al cellphone, so that i could be contacted by
the executives i assisted at work; i want to
say condoms, but that’s a mess of an add
ition to the list considering i can certainly
remember the importance of having to
wear one (as opposed to PReP, which is
often difficult not to think of as the
invention of my lifetime, having missed
the days when sexual freedom was a bit
less of a game of russian roulette – not
that since i have had a prescription has
it been of any use whatsoever); and
speaking of russia and roulette, how a
bout dictators; and automatic guns (or
maybe weapons in general, but there
might be an exception, even though it
eludes me at present, which is to say
that i’m presently too lazy to debate,
particularly with imbeciles; speaking
of which), how about willful ignorance,
that dreadful invention made from a
lack of empathy or general laziness; and
speaking of generals, the military (in gen
eral) – except anarchy is a fairly del
usional invention of politicslessness,
and then i’d next be having to explain
why law enforcement is necessary, at
least in my strong opinion; so what
about corruption, except how else
might the classes, which grow ever
more distant from each other, fight
fire with fire? next up would be the
class system itself, but what, then
would become of democracy, along
along with religion and all of its
various offshoots (not spirituality,
of course?), that might be, in the
speaking of russia and roulette, how a
bout dictators; and automatic guns (or
maybe weapons in general, but there
might be an exception, even though it
eludes me at present, which is to say
that i’m presently too lazy to debate,
particularly with imbeciles; speaking
of which), how about willful ignorance,
that dreadful invention made from a
lack of empathy or general laziness; and
speaking of generals, the military (in gen
eral) – except anarchy is a fairly del
usional invention of politicslessness,
and then i’d next be having to explain
why law enforcement is necessary, at
least in my strong opinion; so what
about corruption, except how else
might the classes, which grow ever
more distant from each other, fight
fire with fire? next up would be the
class system itself, but what, then
would become of democracy, along
along with religion and all of its
various offshoots (not spirituality,
of course?), that might be, in the
end, horribly counterproductive
constructs; and speaking of
constructs, i might as well dig my
self even deeper by suggesting that
monogamy is, dare i say, one of the
most ludicrous of all constructs,
and yet how might this poet
reconcile his hopeless romant
icism, speaking of course of con
structs we all might be better
off without? moving out of the
realm of systems of the nonsen
sical that become etched in law, blue
laws seem more obviously useless
than most of this list. but, but.
and how about aluminum foil, or
at least with regard to its uses as
packager of food and other things,
and as a hat worn to deter extra
terrestrials. but what do i know,
when push comes to shove? i
mean, i’d add the congress, and
wouldn’t there be a lot of agree
ment. others might offer the
other branches of government
as pretty worthless. but are
they completely useless?
hard to say, i suppose; or
5G – does it really work
better than its predecessors?
it certainly doesn’t seem to
me to be anything but less
effective than 4G, plus there’s
all this talk of disturbing airline
traffic, which sounds like quite
a substantial problem; oh, how
about skin-tight clothing – but
i’m sure someone could argue
me out of its utter uselessness.
and now it comes to me, some
thing that is utterly worthless:
the necktie. don’t even try to
debate me on this one. i must
say however, that it, like many
other things i’d describe as
useless attire or nonsense
accessories, can be fun to
don while prancing about town
and yet how might this poet
reconcile his hopeless romant
icism, speaking of course of con
structs we all might be better
off without? moving out of the
realm of systems of the nonsen
sical that become etched in law, blue
laws seem more obviously useless
than most of this list. but, but.
and how about aluminum foil, or
at least with regard to its uses as
packager of food and other things,
and as a hat worn to deter extra
terrestrials. but what do i know,
when push comes to shove? i
mean, i’d add the congress, and
wouldn’t there be a lot of agree
ment. others might offer the
other branches of government
as pretty worthless. but are
they completely useless?
hard to say, i suppose; or
5G – does it really work
better than its predecessors?
it certainly doesn’t seem to
me to be anything but less
effective than 4G, plus there’s
all this talk of disturbing airline
traffic, which sounds like quite
a substantial problem; oh, how
about skin-tight clothing – but
i’m sure someone could argue
me out of its utter uselessness.
and now it comes to me, some
thing that is utterly worthless:
the necktie. don’t even try to
debate me on this one. i must
say however, that it, like many
other things i’d describe as
useless attire or nonsense
accessories, can be fun to
don while prancing about town
or the office or to events in
which one is meant to be “seen”
and even places in which being
seen is utterly unnecessary –
and even places in which being
seen is utterly unnecessary –
wearing something
that serves no purpose
when one is not forced
to wear such a thing
most every day of
the week is groovy. i
that serves no purpose
when one is not forced
to wear such a thing
most every day of
the week is groovy. i
know this from living
on the west coast, after
somehow having eked
out existences in the
south, the midwest and
the northeast of these
so-called united states.
for some twenty two
years, now, here in
my much maligned
and much loved
ever changing
adopted home
of san francisco.
and that’s quite a
significant portion
of my life, well more
than that which i’ve
spent any other place
in which i’ve resided,
including the state i
was born in and re
mained through my
trajectory from kiddo
somehow having eked
out existences in the
south, the midwest and
the northeast of these
so-called united states.
for some twenty two
years, now, here in
my much maligned
and much loved
ever changing
adopted home
of san francisco.
and that’s quite a
significant portion
of my life, well more
than that which i’ve
spent any other place
in which i’ve resided,
including the state i
was born in and re
mained through my
trajectory from kiddo
into adulthood and (at
least by theoretical
definition) and beyond.
and what gives this
city more usefulness
and purpose, despite
the flimsiness and
flakiness of its
in-and-out-and-
in-again inhabit
ants, as far as
i’m concerned than
the general irrelevance,
relatively speaking,
of wearing a necktie?
in fact, perhaps that
is the one last reason
i can still be found here.
what a useful city it
turns out to be, my
beautiful temperate
difficult to love home.
and what gives this
city more usefulness
and purpose, despite
the flimsiness and
flakiness of its
in-and-out-and-
in-again inhabit
ants, as far as
i’m concerned than
the general irrelevance,
relatively speaking,
of wearing a necktie?
in fact, perhaps that
is the one last reason
i can still be found here.
what a useful city it
turns out to be, my
beautiful temperate
difficult to love home.
