mmmdcxxxviii

An AspicEnhancer

Amy Sedaris used to tell
her brother David that his
teeth made his face look
like a bomb went off a
nanosecond after time 
froze. I don’t really
remember why, but at

least to me it’s visually
understandable as a story
thus far – and I’ve seen
Sedaris (well, both of
them; not in person).
The joke isn’t about
the incredibly anxiety-

inducing covers of those 

seemingly ubiquitous 

books upon which 

glow these indelible
representations of very
creepy clowns with
totally adorable children.
But I forget. I forget
the important stuff and
think of what? Time to
stuff? Time to get stuffed?
And, as cousin Bartholomew
can’t live a grand total of
two minutes without ever
saying one of those two
plump phrases in such a
way that we cannot stop
hearing it said over and
over and cannot erase
it ever after, “And I
mean that.” Before
they look carefully
at each of the choices
(numbers 3 and 14):
“Meathead! Meathead!”
followed after about 13
seconds with “Edith!!
Edith!!” in that accent
we’d all just gleaned be
fore summer break watch
ing Welcome Back Kotter.