mmmdcxxxviii

An AspicEnhancer

Amy Sedaris used to tell
her brother David that his
teeth made his face look
like a bomb went off
nanosecond after which
time froze. I don’t really
remember, but it’s visually
understandable as a story
thus far – and I’ve seen
Sedaris (well, both of
them; not in person).
The joke isn’t about
the incredibly creepy
cover of the books
upon every cover of
which includes indelible
representations of very
creepy clowns with
totally adorable children.
But I forget. I forget
the important stuff and
think of what? Time to
stuff? Time to get stuffed?
And, as cousin Bartholomew
can’t live a grand total of
two minutes without ever
saying one of those two
plump phrases in such a
way that we cannot stop
hearing it said over and
over and cannot erase
it ever after, “And I
mean that.” Before
they look carefully
at each of the choices
(numbers 3 and 14):
“Meathead! Meathead!”
followed after about 13
seconds with “Edith!!
Edith!!” in that accent
we’d all just gleaned be
fore summer break watch
ing Welcome Back Kotter.