mmmdccix

A State of Steamlessness

To say a little something
that I’ve never said before
and keep it happy keep it
up keep it outside of the
areas of morose and de
pressing and morbid
and mean. That’s
what I mean to
do. It’s a game
of logic at the
moment and
what’s worse
I’m out of
steam to
pull off
such a
feat, but
yet, I’m here,
hello, there are lots to
tell, and many ways to
switch my gears from
sinking to uplifting.
Surely? Tonight, I’ll
make this simple. I
thought at first I’d
tell a story, perhaps
one beginning with
(in order to divert
our attention, both
mine and yours)
me mentioning
that I’ve never
worked fast food
and then explain
how that statement
is quite untrue, at
which point I’d
detail for you
the three specific
things I’ve done
that make that
notion—that I’ve
never worked fast
food—at least a half-
lie (but more like a
whole one – there’s
no such thing as a
half lie), and I’ve already

gone quite off course. So
what will I do instead? As
if I did not know (this time)
from the very top of this benign
stack of ruses. I figured, hey,
I’d say I had a second interview
this afternoon, which I did. And
that I’ve another second interview
with another company on Tuesday
(Monday being a holiday). And
it’s right about eleven pm and
I have been up since around about
six am, which is about the time
I’ve been up each day this week
(and I don’t think I’ve been asleep
before midnight since last early last

month). Which would all be to say 

how hard I am and have been 

doing for so long off and on and 

then off again, looking for a job.
And right now I’m feeling better
than I have in a very long time
with regard to how to play the
game of getting one. So rather
than press my luck by coming
up with some sort of huckstery
way to find my happy, I’ll just
say that, while I’m not unhappy,
I suppose, I am for certain quite
exhausted. And now that you
know my most overarching
modus operandi and that
I need sleep you probably
won’t mind if I just leave
it at that. Would you?
I didn’t think so.
You’re very
sweet that
way.

Good night, dear friend.
Until tomorrow,
I’m signing off.