Life Is Like an Interview Question
Forrest Gump could do that
much better than I could. Do
you know that I did not even
like chocolate until I was in
my late 40s, I think? I mean,
I’d eat it, especially in peanut
butter cups. But I’d be so angry
at the proliferation, the monopoly,
of chocolate flavor in the cereal
aisle, in ice cream stores or free
zers, and in candy bars. But to
your question, my box would be
the oddest most radical assort
ment you could possibly imagine.
Juxtapositions of flavor that would
be variously profound, disgusting,
astoundingly aphrodisiacal, a pick-
you-up, a hypnotic, a hallucino
genic, one perhaps in the shape
of a brain that helps you focus,
one that has you sleepwalking
shortly after ingesting, one that
has you sleeping after indulging,
with no sign of a hangover of any
kind the next morning, one that
has you overindulge upon swal
lowing, in whatever ways one
might imagine overindulgence,
one that ages you, one that turns
you back into a kid, one that makes
you get tall, you know, anything you
might find in Alice in Wonderland.
And that’s just, as they say, a small
sampling of the box of chocolates
that would be mine, were I to have
one of my very own.
