mmmmdxxiv

for brenda,

cheerleader extraordinaire,
objective observer and (i could
say non-partisan if for no other
obvious reason but that
she was) mom’s younger sister’s
bestie back in the day, maybe to
the end—i all but lost my
connection to my aunt
years ago because she
got too political for
comfort. one has
to draw lines to
remain healthy
and reasonable.
but brenda, she
was all compassion,
all encouragement.
that is who she was
to me these past few
years, at any rate.
brenda, mother of
greg, with whom i
graduated from high
school, we were neighbors
growing up, they lived just up
the hill over the pasture from us
for my entire childhood existence,
so we shared birthday party moments,
tornado warnings in storm cellars at my
aunt’s, babysitting moments, garage sales.
brenda passed this week, maybe just a day
or two ago. the last word i got was a reaction
to me posting it had been a bad week—this
was just about a week ago. by bad week i was
just talking about the election, being worked a bit
too much, being condescended toward a few
times and then having to apologize for it. her
response, usually nothing but charm and
positivity: “ditto.” she’d just gotten home
from the hospital. she always had a way
to turn mountains of turmoil into veritable
clouds of glitter dust. what silly things 

we call problems. now we’ve lost
a beacon. the lifeline through
to my aunt grows dimmer.
and what pride i’ve left
remains further in check.
electricity, in general,
is less intense. i’m
grateful to have
known you, and
for that warmth.
how i might
possibly keep
that fire
flickering
for however
much longer...