And You Happen
to Be Standing
in Front of It
trouble with
lost decades,
trouble with cast
of mind that consigns
a decade to the
category of “lost”
—Wayne Koestenbaum
Yeah, it’s weird I’m old,
who feels old, but I am.
I’m not ancient, I’m just,
oh, it’s all relative, as I’m
told, as they say, but I’m
old, just not ancient. And
what of the past, those
decades that led up to this,
are they lost, are they gone,
but of course, in a way, but
they’re here, in my heart,
where a lot of that stuff stays.
Which is food for the brain,
I would say, as it guides me
from old to (I wouldn’t mind,
let’s hope) ancient. And I’ve
got a man less than half of my
age, what’s that say about me?
What’s that say about me? At
least that’s the word that occurs
from the outside looking in when
such fantastic stuff comes to light.
Those lives outside our sphere
they must think us mighty queer,
so perverse and so mental. I don’t
mind, I’m sentimental, love is love,
and in fact, I’m perverse, it’s not a
trouble with
lost decades,
trouble with cast
of mind that consigns
a decade to the
category of “lost”
—Wayne Koestenbaum
Yeah, it’s weird I’m old,
who feels old, but I am.
I’m not ancient, I’m just,
oh, it’s all relative, as I’m
told, as they say, but I’m
old, just not ancient. And
what of the past, those
decades that led up to this,
are they lost, are they gone,
but of course, in a way, but
they’re here, in my heart,
where a lot of that stuff stays.
Which is food for the brain,
I would say, as it guides me
from old to (I wouldn’t mind,
let’s hope) ancient. And I’ve
got a man less than half of my
age, what’s that say about me?
What’s that say about me? At
least that’s the word that occurs
from the outside looking in when
such fantastic stuff comes to light.
Those lives outside our sphere
they must think us mighty queer,
so perverse and so mental. I don’t
mind, I’m sentimental, love is love,
and in fact, I’m perverse, it’s not a
curse, love is love, I’m a man, he’s a
man, leave the people’s mouths agape,
I don’t care, I am here, they are there,
and I’ve put a little spin on the good old
marketing trope that any news is good
news, I say any news, any gossip, bad or
good, it’s an avenue, it’s an opening for
engagement, and I’ve spun that way for
most of my life with some educational
results. But it’s weird that I’m old, when
I think of the number of years I’ve been
from there to here. It’s just a number,
some folks say, and that’s true, but yet
what does that number mean, next to,
say, sixteen or a hundred and four? It
has meaning, just like I have, just like
you have, too. And those are meanings
(those defining you and those defining
me) that give me such delight when I
decide to do my damnedest to ascertain.
Which takes patience, equanimity and a
lot of curiosity, I suppose, but it’s an
absolutely fundamental thing when it
comes to ascertaining best who I am
and what it is I might do to better be.
In that regard, age can be a treasure,
but also something that keeps us from
getting there. So there’s no time to
waste, is the thing. No time to worry
much on how weird it is that I am as
old as I am. Less time to find those
avenues, those inroads to the gawkers
and the gossips who go about their days
already finding something interesting
about me about which to think or at which
to ogle. But forget about them, since you
happen to be right here. Let’s start now,
and get right down to the business of
making such important connections.
man, leave the people’s mouths agape,
I don’t care, I am here, they are there,
and I’ve put a little spin on the good old
marketing trope that any news is good
news, I say any news, any gossip, bad or
good, it’s an avenue, it’s an opening for
engagement, and I’ve spun that way for
most of my life with some educational
results. But it’s weird that I’m old, when
I think of the number of years I’ve been
from there to here. It’s just a number,
some folks say, and that’s true, but yet
what does that number mean, next to,
say, sixteen or a hundred and four? It
has meaning, just like I have, just like
you have, too. And those are meanings
(those defining you and those defining
me) that give me such delight when I
decide to do my damnedest to ascertain.
Which takes patience, equanimity and a
lot of curiosity, I suppose, but it’s an
absolutely fundamental thing when it
comes to ascertaining best who I am
and what it is I might do to better be.
In that regard, age can be a treasure,
but also something that keeps us from
getting there. So there’s no time to
waste, is the thing. No time to worry
much on how weird it is that I am as
old as I am. Less time to find those
avenues, those inroads to the gawkers
and the gossips who go about their days
already finding something interesting
about me about which to think or at which
to ogle. But forget about them, since you
happen to be right here. Let’s start now,
and get right down to the business of
making such important connections.
