mmcxlix

Next year,
we’ll have
lots of fun
little gifts
to open on
Xmas day.

Boy, does
this list
ever ex-
haust!

mmcxlviii

I Am Resolve

What is there to do
in the face of time
with the face of
time?  Hide inside
of it?  Apply press
ure at pressure
points in order to
fix it?  It doesn’t
give so easily,
Oscar.  I need to
make a list.  Of
being thankful.
Make promises.
How to accomp
lish made prom
ises.  Doing
something with
out doing no
thing.  Nothing.
Remind me.
How can I
make this
effective?
Should I
even
affect?
Please
kindly re
mind me
to do some
thing different
next year.

mmclvii

The “no gift” Christmas

What am I?
Fun.  Adds
life.  This
just con-
firmed,
like feel-
ing bad.
The en-
joyment
of the
brink.
The
brink
of en-
joy-
ment.
A con-
struct.
A game
of nothing
but beauty
and pleasure
interspersed.

mmcxlvi

Odd enough that,
on Christmas morning,
each with new tablets
that add life, some talk,
it was nice but how would
I describe it? It comes
across as so wrong. But
it’s not foolish feeling
good. While it comes
relatively easy—is a
construct, like feeling
bad. And it doesn’t
just come crashing in.
It added life. Recovery
ships. Because now,
roasted, spending
the night at Peter’s,
I feel so good. This
just confirmed.
A game thrust
to the brink.
Kiehl’s moisturizer.
Nothing and pleasure
insterspersed.

mmcxlv

Inability

There was no real
sexual tension so
we played several
games of Rook.  He’s
fun to play cards with.
Then, Christmas morn-
ing, I sketched oddly
until they left.  I don’t
know how to describe
it.  Definitely a mood-
suck.  Then doing
nothing.  How
would I describe
this more effectively?

mmcxliv

Let’s Play Poke the Tail Into the Donkey

I’m singing our national anthem.
Right now. In bed.

I just sang the national anthem.
Omigod. I just said that.

Inability. I am on a fairy
that just departed Vallejo for

San Francisco. On Xmas Eve,
I should add, M&O picked up

good ol’ Mack down in
Monterey & we all

spent the night in revelry.
I should also note (please

ignore) that I am being
the same child as always (reactionary).

mmcxliii

Blah Blah Rama Lama Ding Dong

Please stop all of the star trooper
rumors that have been going
around about me.  They are
absolutely not true.

Take one down, pass it around,
ninety-nine bottles of sleep
on the wall.  Also, here come
the moral helicopters.  By the way,

I love it when you develop.  It’s
always so public.

mmcxlii

My exasperation with the ludicrous constructs that lure me from
here to there to wherever. And how I go. On purpose. Ever onward
toward my imagined importances.

All of this is to generally say that I prefer—in fact, I suppose I truly
can only tolerate, if not demand—sage, experience-driven,
& elsewise-accredited advice on the really important stuff, that
which to whom and for which I should point my propensities.
Fortunately, it’s the Era of Attention Deficit Disorder,

and thus I never dwell too long on the bitter pills of
politics, lousy advice, & the world wide webs
of corporate and corporeal manipulation. I’m
easily distracted, and how could I not be when I
notice that, in other news, it looks like Justin Bieber
has been accused of an “egg attack.” I want him so bad
it hurts.                                       Now where was I, again?

mmcxli

And as
my head clears a bit I find myself,
like now, thinking of this messiness
that I become when being fed recommendations
which are (supposedly) based on a democratic
accumulation of responses.  Then it
dawns on me, that I’m (barf!)
elitist

            Or, more accurately,
I remember that I am.  I sigh                 {sigh!}.
And revel in that truth for a moment.

{sigh!}

And then, slowly, I put one hand
(admittedly in what might be
considered an overly-dramatic
fashion) over my eyes.

But.  It doesn’t keep me from
seeing the obvious:

mmcxl

I’m (barf!) _______!

I object or _________ baloney, ___ soon
become ____ __ _ minced sputtering
____ _____ ____ initially ____ phrases
such as criminal misconduct! ___ the
authorities ______ ___________ immed-
______! and, finally, ___ exasperated__,
those bastards! ___ _ ____ __!

___ a bit bonkers, no doubt.
Am I ___ only ___ ___ ____ _________
virtually and __ thusly? Ex______,
________ about this, ___ _ ___ here,
how _ ___ ____ ___ _____, when, __ mere
moments _______ I was head___ somewhere
____ ________, __ someplace more ________,
__ more ________, more enter_______, __ __ ___
____ _____ ____ healthy, and less ____________....

___ down it goes ____ ____
____ ____ ___ __ _______ __ time.

So, I ____ __ feel more ____
____ __ inkling __ disgust ____ myself.
I start to like my____ less, and, moment__,
____. ___ I usually like myself – __ least _

[G]eneral__ [S]teady _____ ___.

mmcxxxix

Teen dies of old age
                  —a CNN.com headline

I’d kiss you if my breath weren’t just
smoked cheddar cheese and more smoke.

Can you confirm whether or not you’re
doing okay?  Yes?  No?

mmcxxxviii

Giving stuff away is good for poetry
                           —Leopoldine Core

thinking about ____, how I got ____,
how I get ____ too often, even as ____
moments ___ _ _a_ head___ ____where
____ entirely, __ some_____ ____ relevant,
_or_ ____ ________, ____entertaining, or at the
very least ____ healthy, ___ ____ curmudgeon__...

So I begin __ ____ ____ ____ just an
inkling of disgust ____ MYSELF.

I like myself ____ ___ _____.
(I ______ like myself
__ least _ ______ ___.)

And it goes like ____ for an
amount of time

________ __ messiness ____ _
_______ when being fed _______________
_____ are (supposedly) _____ __ an
accumulation __ _________ from
____ ______. ___ (barf) ______

___. (Sigh.) It’s true.

And so I begin to remember
that I am. So ____ __ ____
placing one eye over __ ____
___ I _____ (admit_____ __
_some____ ______-drama
___ _____on) ____ my eyes.

Unfortunately, it ______.
Doesn’t ____ __ ____ see
_________ more ________,
___ ___ obvious
or that the ___ I ___ winced.
Muttering such as I ______
______ _____ always ___
I __________ __,
corporate baloney or
______ __, and
__ __ soon mis-

mmcxxxvii

The Spirituality of _______ Dancing

I ___ very _____ _________ to the People’s Choice Awards
or to iTunes ____ ____ings or ____’s metascores ___
(most especially!) I abhor digging ______ ____ ________,
information which, if I happen upon it, is in almost every case
an ___________ ____________ because I don’t ____.

(Wait, I take that back, I’ve ____ed twice;
both for friends in the ____ industry who’ve
coaxed me into giving _ ____ ______ to _____
_____ __ employment _____ _____ _____ a ‘bad rap’ –
purportedly by ________ rivals, not _____ _________.
It was hurting ________, ____ _______, and so I conceded
___ wrote a couple of nondescript ________ _______.)

(Which goes on to prove the point of my disgust in
the whole thing, I suppose...)

I’m the guy who _________ _____
any such proffered _______________ –
those rank & file _____ claiming to have been
“democrat______ _______” – well, not only
downright suspicious, but also
hardly worth my time and/or effort.

__ _____ ________ __ __
______ __ ___ _____ bit of attention.

Anyone can participate, after all
(more on my ________ with that
shortly).

So, when I find that once again I’ve inadvertently
landed at such an address—when, during whatever
query or quest I’m making of my moment,
all roads __ ___ __-______ Information Super-
_______ dead end at a sponsored heap __
__________ solutions or __________ _______________
____ ____ ____ _____ed & ____ed __ _____
nice egalitarian folks who like to take the
____ __ ____ —____ _ ____ __self _______
once again at a ____ed heap—it’s a fair bet
that what soon follows is a _____ced ________ing
of phrases that _____ under breath, such as
_ ______ or ________ _______. Exhale,

mmcxxxvi

Do you need me to pick up any drumsticks?

Did you hear about the film suspension in
Honolulu? C-o-n-t-r-o-v-e-r-s-y ! ! Also,
every paper this morning (well, none of it

paper anymore, at least for me) used the
adjective “sloppy” to describe last night’s
Golden Globes. But apparently that was a

good thing, at least if I’m understanding the
various contexts (and my consultation with the
Urban Dictionary) correctly. Because I never

watch the Golden Globes, always wait eagerly
for the Oscars instead. And besides, I’m
pretty embarrassed by sloppy (be it

mine or others’). In general. So as for me,
I’ll believe my pal Diane, who seems to be the
one person on the planet who didn’t enjoy

last night’s slop-fest. Oh, no.
I may have just realized that my
real problem is with democracy.

mmcxxxv

Do you know how long we have before the Thunder Palace activates?
                                  —overheard during an episode of Fairy Tale

I wanna settle the score with Salamander so bad I can taste it!
                   —also overheard during an episode of Fairy Tale

Does pee turn to snow in icy cold?
                                       —an actual CNN.com headline

It is not pretty, this poetry. Or it was such a shame
when his mouth entered the happy room. Happy
today is strange and is quite impossible to
understand. One electric fan makes a white
noise that soothes me into sleep while one
electric humidifier (also with a fan) sings
the eternal language of chalkboard fingers.
Which I can barely type, can barely say
(chalkboard fingers), can barely
imagine myself saying.

mmcxxxiv

privilege

the bowl
from which
i scoop
is a
painter’s
palette

the hole
from which
i emerge
blows me a
kiss goodbye

mmcxxxiii

...and spreading panicles of purple flowers—a low violet cloud!
                                                                —Mei-mei Berssenbrugge

The space
between
your piano

and my
big toe

mmcxxxii

hi! i
mean

hey!

or
yay!

mmcxxxi

then,
seeing aliens,
we headed for the hills

mmcxxx

writing
is a lazy
form of
commun
ication

mmcxxix

my people
were trained
in a hot tub

mmcxxviii

this is
pretty
boring

but it’s
not
boring
like
hetero-
norma-
tive
culture

mmcxxvii

-[gasps]-

“What’s going on?”

     “I think we’re
      overestimating
      the bid.”

“Oh.”

-[pause]-

     “I feel really sick
      and I have to quit.”

-[leaves]-

mmcxxvi

doppelgänger

skin flaps
syntax

mmcxxv

this knit funnel-neck tank top

this knit
funnel-
neck
tank top
doubles
as a
sporty
hoodie

mmcxxiv

the morning
got extended
by a black
ladybug

mmcxxiii

i invested in the pre-moment.
                —kathryn l. pringle


these boots

were made

for walking


somewhere

over the

rainbow


giuchie giuchie

ya yaaaa dada


it has been hard living
since the pre-moment.
              —kathryn l. pringle

mmcxxii

sad solid sun

dear mr. bigstuff,
who do u think
you are? u should

know better than
anyone that big
is in the eye of

the beholder.
here’s mud
in your eye,

not boulder
(n.b., this rock
i ask u2 choke-

hold at, let’s say,
around 5:30pm,
{which, by now}

which, by then)
gets gotten up
like ego; pumped,

not vacuumed
all up—or down.
—up / not down—

watch as it
gathers gout
at & about you

mad moon bum

mmcxxi

The brain—soft bag—collapses on itself
                                   —Etel Adnan

watching a hummingbird
take to the droopy hearts
of the Castro on a
weekday afternoon

far from femininity
(the ocean seemingly
forever away), massive prows
jut over Market Street

intimidating hopscotch
the overshadowing of
half a dozen or so
brand new buildings—

condominiums (etc.)
triangular suited men
duck stealthily in & out
of the darkness

all futurissimo!
each checking his
watch as he emerges
into the light

then swooping
back out presto
leaving nothing
but tiny whirlwinds

fluttering up and
above—swirling
impressions—
echoing rictuses

of a hundred
or so pursed lips

mmcxx

the low-hanging brunch

mmcxix

it wasn’t sleeping

ms. birdjam’s
ampersand
sundials

or so we all thought
(whew)

mmcxviii

At the end of the
drain, I meant day...
          —Norma Cole

repetitious
recitative
is what the
interlude
?

my heart stutters

i, me, mimosa
and a mexican coke

mmcxvii

’mid the
turmoil
(& other
illnesses)
AMAZING
GOODNESS!
(@SweetWoodruffSF)

mmcxvi

small
captions under
these photos
   —Norma Cole

mmcxv

on this day
80% of the people
missed each other
     —Norma Cole

I have a friend

I know someone
who does

ordinarily
party
people
collide

mmcxiv

And we thought it said mud
                 —Norma Cole

chemical brothers
in arms

pigeon
reflection

tardy birthday
battle ‘royale’

purple heart
hair spasm

purple spasm
hair heart

mmcxiii

a year w/one book

and not on
an island

mmcxii

misread ‘Cursed
by a lip lick’ (H
Nguyen) as
‘lipstick’ then
‘lip lock’ (maybe
on purpose by
then) but cursed

hot tea
soda and
Alaska roll

mmcxi

It feels very fine
being a girl
       —Hoa Nguyen


even my
eyelids
feel like
fire


* * *


renovation
with chills
at two in
the after
noon


* * *


i can
pay
all of
the bills
on thursday

mmcx

Lacunae are great
      —Norma Cole

Meet me
at the
monkeys.

Or historic
WellsFargo,
where we go

in circles:
round &
round & round.

mmcix

A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it
needs to live.
             —from 642 Things to Write About

My father
was buried
before you
were alive.

mmcviii

What can happen in a second?
                                 —from 642 Things to Write About

Armada

Armani

mmcvii

I’m the eccentric
at the wine bar
— corner table
that juts out
into foot traffic.
Italian wine.  Day-

dreaming intolerably
of Venice.  No-
thing seems right
except that I write
this.  The table
next to me is

SALES (all
caps because
sales is very loud).
I’m a sales magnet.
Hand gestures are
important; must

meet inspection.
“January, I’ll pack a bag
in January!”  shouts SALES.

mmcvi

No quote
unquote
a glass
of red

Pose
[inert]
blank
stars

Back in
England
(what the
bloody heck)

I stir in
pretend tears
boo hoo
no heaven

mmcv

Turn Left After Turtle Tower

     to avoid earth peril
     I have a hopeful April 
             —Hoa Nguyen

which becomes October

‘he’s well-versed
in nurse’ at

Riverside Healthcare

trying to remember
Nurse __________

Nurse __________
of the Yellow Awning

mmciv

Evil stir           a kingdom
The hydrogen exploded
           —Hoa Nguyen

Make ‘h’ sound
for ‘f’ in Japanese

Fukushima

mmciii

Caution

Fill the 

tub in the 

back bath
wearing
naught
but a sash
& a gas mask

mmcii

This pinot noir
blows the
bourgogne rouge
all the way to
Burgundy (France)

mmci

Don’t be
the ass
of every
yolk joke

3 months
ago I
survived
53 days

in one lie

mmc

     To Do:

     Mash the sea
     Evolve love
     Keen
     Coo 
             —Hoa Nguyen

I exert
my list
exerts

I exist
list
lists

Shot thru
the ♥ w/
a Volvo