Tuesday, November 30, 2021

mmmcdxxxviii

How Did I Miss One?
Where Did It Go?


The
possibilities
are
always
endless.
And I am
only a writer.
How would I know?

When I grow up I wanna be a doctor

mmmcdxxxvii

The Final Stretch

I am reading
ever so slowly
towards the end
of Wobble by
the beloved Rae
Armantrout. How
many times I say
her name just to
say it, write it
just to type it
and to show
case a hero
of mine
and this time,
today, while
seemingly
staring down
the same page
for days (for
days!). At
the same
page of
spare and
precisely
placed words.
To commem
orate, I take
a photo for my
guy, the lover
I have yet to
touch, even
after all but
two entire years,
lifetimes, as it
were, thanks
to lives lived
in separate
hemispheres
and a human
war with a
virus, I snap
a photo just
for him of me
reading slowly
towards the end
of Wobble.
For whatever
reason, and/
but of course,
the photo that
comes of the
event shows
what appears
to be a mini
ature version,
a wee me, read
ing a gargantuan-
sized version of
her book. An app
ropriate illusion
if ever there was
one. I zap the
photo to the
other hemi
sphere, as
we do, and
I immediately
get a call from
him, a video
call. He calls
me because I
have asked him
to call. But only
him. At present,
while I slowly
and slower still
work my way
toward the end
of this wonderful
book, I will only
accept his call,
no other. So I
answer his call,
happily, and read
him two of the
poems from this
wonderful, seem
ingly gigantic
book, one that
certainly has
dwarfed me
in a simple
photograph,
and quite
hilariously,
adding here
and there to
the words from
the two poems
I have chosen
randomly and
urgently to read
to him, adding my
own words, for
worse, rather than
better, of course,
as if there is need
to explain anything
(there never is with
the Lady Armantrout)
but I giddily explain
and re-explain, att
empting to show a
few of the many
facets of a short
few of the brief
stanzas or sections.
First I read “Instuctions,”
and as it floats down 
its single page while 
flying like a supersonic 
jet through our brains 
while gaining
impossible speed,
yet slowly and stead
fastly floating, the
words, as they do,
down that singular
dizzying path, all the
way to that hard
stop right at the
bottom, as the jets
in our brains have
spun out of control,
maddeningly, and yet
quietly, landing us both
somewhere looking at
the same map of London,
a map with two exits out
of the metropolis, one
in red, the other in blue.
A precocious baby has
died in the arms of a
mother who may have
given birth to her the
day before, an ogre of
a man has shot off un
remembered words filled
with such condescension
that indicate he blames
the mother for the baby’s
sudden death, words that
loom like the supersonic
explosions we cannot get
out of our heads as we stare
quietly at the map and wonder
which exit is to be ours.  Kaboom.
Second, I reading “Trick” which
reveals quite assuredly the great
riddle of how you don’t have it
unless you
’ve got it... or can get 
it, that is. But how?  I excitedly
tell him about my poem in
response, in which I’ve so
proudly, I think at first,
turned the riddle back
onto the poem. But
then it hits me, and
I’m so excited I can
barely give emotion
to my thoughts, much
less actual words, which
have, as it turns out, been
done irrevocably and quite
already for me. And you.
And my guy. In explaining
how clever I am, I realize I’ve
been duped – as no riddles 
linger – every answer is right
here, and succinctly, on the
page.  The sphinx has let out
her dirty little secret for all
to hear and know and rue.
It is a fait accomplis. What
need, therefore, is any add
itional accomplice?  Zilcho.
Nada.  None.  The Secret’s
out.  It’s been delivered
directly by the poet.  She
had it all along.  Played
with it right in front of
us, and then finished it
so that the secret exists
no more.  She knows
this because we know
it, too.  She can’t take
it back.  And my paltry
attempt to juggle her
well-worn baubles of verity
for a tiny giddy moment,
thinking that I was in
any way adding or even
replying or fancifully
retorting to her brilliant
words, were nothing but
a fraud, an attempt to
impress my love with a
juggling act; it lasts for
maybe a moment or two,
but for what, because, 
the secret exists no longer,
there’s no need for a show,
no need for tell, no need for
frippery, not even for any
engagement of any kind.
And while he does indeed care
for me, he cares not a jot for jugglery.
The show’s over, the juggling’s done,
and even in my embarrassment, I’m
elated to have been there, to have been
so intimate with the words and with my
love, perhaps such intimacy that I have
never even known, with the palatable
hope, or rather the sheer knowledge, the fact,
that there will be more and more 
and much more to come.

dwarfed

mmmcdxxxvi

November Promises

Now is perhaps when I should relay
Over to You
Very fine folks that to keep a little personal promise, an
Exercise if you will, on goal, I have written and somehow
Managed to post a whole
Bunch of poems (That’s, at last count, I believe,
Eleven, plus this one?) in a period of time shorter than the last two days. Wait,
Really the 2-day total with the one final poem coming shortly will be sixteen. Wow.

me, November 2021, after writing 16 anachronizms in less than two days

mmmcdxxxv

An Acrostic Poem for Ms. Cleta Hoffman, My 4th Grade Teacher

As it turns out, I am a
Cross, and to be more thorough, I’m Del
Ray Cross
Of the
Small town of Charleston, Arkansas, which is
Tucked
Into my state’s namesake River Valley around about the Ozark Foothills. It was in
Charleston that Cleta Hoffman, my 4th Grade Teacher, submitted a poem I wrote while taking her
Serendipitous class—it was a goofy sonnet entitled “Math”—into a statewide competition,

That like most all of the other poems “submitted,” no doubt WON, by
Henceforth being published with all of the other winners into
A
Not very tiny tome, but rather, in a compendium, a
King-sized magazine: a magazine of poetry! 
So, to

Ms. Hoffman, educator of dreamers, lover of poetry and teacher of 
Screwy 4th graders, my
Heart and gratitude goes out to you wherever you may be:

Thank you for pouring a little bit of poetry into my soul.  
It was always and never enough.

The Crosses show off the time.

mmmcdxxxiv

“Wobble” by Rae Armantrout

Well, I’ve done it.
Only,
Boy, oh,
Boy, Why did I ever
Let it
End?

one stands alone

mmmcdxxxiii

Itinerant

Idiot,” I say
To myself.
I’ve done this before.”
Never
Ever!” I
Reply before quickly hushing up.
Art.
Not
Thought.

Art. Not Thought.

mmmcdxxxii

Veterans' Affairs

Vedral was in the military?” I entreat or
Exclaim, suddenly not certain. I hear “Alzheimer’s,”
Thinking yes, that was Ved, but the rest nod off as if in prayer. “Hey,
Eddie!!” I’m shaken. He knew the payout, knows the prayer by
Rote. “But he was MY UNCLE!!” I shake
And stutter the words everywhere.
Not so, Ray.!” It’s Irv, of course. Thinks he knows it all.
Says here Great Uncle.”

As if there’s a difference? I
Fluctuate between lost and finally seeing who Uncle Vedral was. Between
Finding myself securely and then getting lost in the confusion
And the clatter, or whatever noise you call that made by
Industrial strength styrofoam plates overfilled with gravy and almost nothing else.
Ray...” beckons Aunt Pearl! I cut her off, and the room, which I
Slice with my machete into enough pieces for everyone to take home some 
of their own.

“You think I didn’t know about the affairs?? Everybody knew about Ved 
and his affairs!  Until, that is, nobody did.

nobody remembered to bring the paint

mmmcdxxxi

“You Might As Well
Get Used To It.”


“That’s gonna take
years of practice.”

twisted

mmmcdxxx

Colossal

“It’s a
colossal
little motor
within such a
tiny device,”
he said, as if
deeply interested.
And then he inhaled
from it, blowing a fog
of smoke that drenched
the entire San Francisco block
for what seemed an eternity to each
of his omnipresently bleached-out pals.

it's as if he stands alone

mmmcdxxix

Why Not?

Which nut said yes to all of this
Hippie nonsense? You no doubt read me right;
Yep, I asked who agreed to all of this here hippie-dippy

Nonsense?
Oh, like you have no idea who
The culprit is
?

Nobody but little old me.

mmmcdxxviii

Some Not-So-Professional Advice

Del,
Everyone, good
People,
Rotten ones,
Everybody. Get
Stoned! You probably heard correctly, that’s right. I said
Stoned!!
Engage with the ganja, get
Done up, blazed, crunked and/or zaded

If that’s your pleasure. And if it’s generally not, but you’re generally
Sad? Well, this formerly paranoid, once persnickity,

Not-so-fierce advocate of being chopped, faded or generally
Obliterated suggests you might just get chopped, faded or obliterated. And
Then maybe even huggied (?). I

Say
This with some newfound experience.  So try on some quasi-pseudo-antidisestablishmentarian
Obliteration; get steeched, chonged or otherwise blowed one down-and-out
Night or one down-and-out day, or hey, maybe even a whole super-low year. I’ve 
yet to 
Embark upon an entire year, I will admit, but I’ve known some long-term yatsdenots, and they 
Do seem relatively and fairly consistently happy.

depressed is not stony

Monday, November 29, 2021

mmmcdxxvii

Dusting Off The Ol Mustachios Again, I See!

At (during, pending, poking, prodding) the verity of
Riding the surfless, unwet waves with the unemployed from 
Back at the start of the pandemic to beyond the foreseeable future,
I have survived via checks that have been
Thusly labeled “unemployment” and/or “pandemicable,” etc., and so now, having
Reasonably (?) survived some nearly two years of same, I’ve decided to hone up on
Arbitrary-speak and give a polish to the old pity papers. I trust you know precisely what I mean,
Right? It goes something like “Riddledy?” “Ah, piddledee-dee!” and so on from
Ye to thee and then sometimes, somehow all the way back to the as yet unjobbable me.

You can't teach real acting!

mmmcdxxvi

Inside and Outside Upside-down Boxes

          You don’t have it
          unless you can get it

          down
          and outside in

          some kind of
          box.

                     —Rae Armantrout

For heaven’s sake, our
Lady’s called
It, and quite at
Pin
Point!
Everyone can agree, so
Down to it, shall we? Let’s get

Petty with our pottery, our poops, our pity-parties and,
Oh, our pumas and pompons. The entire
Lot of it! This
Year’s mostest-
Hearted is already an
Erstwhile
Death-on-arrival, am I
Right?
Of course, I am.
Now, what to do about it?

(Oh, come on,
Us! We
Tight-lipped,
-
Overly tarty
Faux pas in waiting gotta
-
Dance just like all the
Oity t
Oity types, am I
Right? (Once again, I am!) And that about
S)ums it up from me. Over & out.

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.


mmmcdxxv

Excoriated
(I could still try XXX—if it’s even a thing?)


Except somehow there seems to need to be a
XXX or overextension or to at least have been an ex
Cerpt (in any context) simply in
Order to arrive at the anti-
Rave. Have
I even been to
A rave, I sorta wonder (knowing full well
That I’m always too
Excluded to’ve been given a map by which to amble or
Drive in order to even arrive at one of those)?

map to the anti-rave


mmmcdxxiv

Cow Pie

Cows are
Over the moon
With their

Pies these days.
It’s true. They’re
Everywhere!

aware

mmmcdxxiii

Gratitude

Friends, I am
Underwhelmed!
Can you
Know

True
Happiness? This
Arrogant fool suspects
Not. His head swirls in excess to
Know the truth, though.  And
Sometimes, occasionally, a
Gift comes
In the guise of an ominous
Vessel, and sometimes that oversized horse’s mouth, well,
It deserves a big, fat foot in the equine
Noggin’ if you ask this (and, rest assured, he’s more often gracious than not!)
Gringo.

gra tee tude !


Sunday, November 14, 2021

mmmcdxxii

Thurlow B Cross
(and his son & grandson, in memoriam)


The winter Grandpa died,
he’d been out chopping wood
until late morning, sat first on his
recliner, got up, told Grandma Hazel where it hurt, covered his
lungs with the palm of his hand then patted his chest, moved
over to the sofa, she had run to get him some aspirin, and
when she was back in the living room, he was on the sofa, on his

Back, lifeless, a heartattack. Dad had

Cancer, lymphoma, he was 57—the age I’ll be in 3 years—it had
ravaged him, but he had seemed on the mend, went down fast in
one short week, my brother, Gary, found him face-down in the driveway, he’d
spit blood until he was completely spent, gone too soon. At 48, Gary—he and Dad shared the
same middle name, Grandpa’s, Thurlow—fell asleep in his truck one hot night, never awoke.

in memoriam

Saturday, November 13, 2021

mmmcdxxi

MOTIVATE


MURDER!  MAYHEM!  A NIGHT AT THE

OPERA! YOU'RE LATE FOR YOUR

TELECONFERENCE!

INVECTIVE!

VICTORY IS NIGH!

ALL HANDS ON DECK!

TIME'S A'WASTIN'!

EXCLAMATION POINT!

tick tock tick tock!!!

Friday, November 12, 2021

mmmcdxx

FREEDOM (a draft)

Friday night, it's late, and I'm
Ready for a job (hi,
Everyone,
Did you think, perhaps, that I would say “weekend”
Or, 
Maybe, “a drink” . . .?)

(although a

drink would be nice, sure, but
rather, to be employed . . .
and to have the
financial wherewithal
t) (o show for it...) (what a dream!) (Oof!)

unsexy dreams

Thursday, November 11, 2021

mmmcdxix

you are my sunshine

yes to rainbows!
outtasite! (rad!)
u & me!

ain’t that the truth!
rad! (outtasite!)
elvis lives. enjoy every moment.

me &
you!

sweet dreams. super-duper (soopah-doopah)!
under the moon. to the moon. on the moon.
not a
second goes by that i don’t think of you.
heaven must have sent you. hey good lookin’.
i’m all aswoon, over the moon.
never a dull moment (nope, not even one).
everybody dance now!

you make me happy when skies are gray

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

mmmcdxviii

faraway tangerine

     A photograph is a dead skin you shimmy out of.
                                                              —Sarah Fran Wisby

frame this. the tart green bum of
a pear in the foreground focus; pink, just
ripe honeycrisp apples scattered
among or against a blur of orange—
wraithlike tangerines
as it turns out—a conspicuous distance away, last
year, the year before, i forget?

take
another look
next year and it’s
going to be the same.
every year, in fact, the fruit stay just as
ripe, the color, the harmony, what one imagines the taste
is or was, everything about the sanguine sight remains
) notwithstanding the various joys and tragedies befalling
each ongoing spectator (

faraway tangerine

Tuesday, November 09, 2021

mmmcdxvii

anything for which to be thankful

lollipop, lollipop,
oh, lolli, lolli, lolli . . .
not just
everyone has an anyone . . .
lollipop, lollipop,
yeah!

love


mmmcdxvi

i have something exciting to tell you

here’s
a little something to get
very
excited

about. please take
note:

i was going to tell you all...ah...it’s
nothing, really.
today, like
every day, i
rose from my broken bed
very much myself.
i had a bowl of breakfast. or
else i
whistled, yes, whistled

to the tune of waking up. i’m
out to lunch, aren’t i?
darn it, yes i am!
anyway,
you all have a nice day
!

wheee!

Sunday, November 07, 2021

mmmcdxv

dear ugh,

jeez louise, do i feel
overworked, exhausted!
but i don't even have a job!

how horrible it is to be
unemployed again, doing
nothing day in and day out except
ticking off open positions for which
i've sent letters of interest, resumes, etc.
no money in either pocket. i
guess i really am a poet.

ugh...

Saturday, November 06, 2021

mmmcdxiv

BIF Arcana

build back better?
is that where i find myself tonight,
politics? well, i’m
always trying new things:
rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga;
testing, one, two, three.
if i say first thought best thought
should i stick to my guns? will there be live
ammunition? what an ungodly
nation, am

i right?
night
falls over
riverdale.
archie and jughead twiddle their thumbs.
sometimes politics
trips me out,” archie says, adding, “not to be
rude, but you just wouldn’t
understand.” (archie was bred for politics, you see)
correctamundo,” says jughead, “now let’s
tweet about it in our
undies until the cows come home.”
riverdale’s like that, thinks
everyone except

betty, who
is thinking about
love.
love and scuba diving, that is.

plus, she thinks for a minute about
archie; more precisely: “i wonder what
sex would be like with archie.”
shut up!
ew!”
says the veronica in her head.

vote

Thursday, November 04, 2021

mmmcdxii

grace and frankie

grace
reeks of
alcohol,
cannot
even manage to

amble down to the beach.
not to be out
done,

frankie
rallies by burning a stick of
amber incense.
now they’re all tied up in
knots over such an
intense
episode. [to be continued]

Grace and Frankie at Del Taco

Wednesday, November 03, 2021

mmmcdxi

spontaneous homage

     There’s gonna be goth
     bathroom readings.

                —Anselm Berrigan

templeton refused to
hug
elsa after her goodbye.
recess
excess. their
sex had

gotten
otherworldly.
nano
nano!
also, she

berated him in front of
everyone. but before things

got so
out of hand,
there had been tons of
hugs. oodles of them.

because,
abracadabra,
those
hugs, at least for Templeton,
rocked so hard (the two became
one and they were
off to the
moon), now he had to

rewrite
everything.
also, he just wanted to be
dead. but he stayed alive.
i told him that
nothing ever
goes exactly the way we want it to.
same here,” he said.

red heart on yellow newspaper bin, plus a bus

Tuesday, November 02, 2021

mmmcdx

tongue-in-cheeky

isn’t it always
nice to
see
everyone so
confidently running around in just their
undergarments (if that), so
ribaldly, here
in the locker room of
this
ymca?

1-877-EAT-POEM

Monday, November 01, 2021

mmmcdix

                     (also/always:) 
del is short for delusional

please,
are you
ready yet?
are we
not
ourselves?
i certainly 
am.

who who who who who