If only I’d
had you
for lunch.
My internet has
brought me many
funny animal clips.
I watch them
and I laugh for
at least half of
my entire day.
And then I watch
the news. Which
isn’t half bad.
What more in this
most blessed and
longish life could
I possible desire?
Oh, I can
think of
several
things.
Hush.
Smile.
Be proud
and less loud.
If I were only
here but to pro
claim life’s
good fortune.
All I’d do whilst
slipping baritone
on down to bass
[singing] You got to
ac-cent-thcu-ate the
positive / E---lim-i-
nate the negative...
Inch on up
the scale a
bit and put
on a happy
face to sing:
Look for the bare
necessities / Old
Mother Nature’s
recipes / That
ahem, give us the
lowest common
denominator for
survival [a voice
berates him out the
door] SO GET OUT
THERE AND DIG
FOR THOSE, DIG?
You bring those
home and I will
bake the most
audacious cake.
For only then will
it be right to even
start to celebrate.
This positivity
has positively
humiliated me.
