mmmdccclxviii

Excerpt From a Curious Handbook
Worth Considerably Less Than $1.99

Pow wow town sow.
Who do that doodoo
that you do? Hunger
begets hunger (burger)
exponentially, but before

that burger gets gone
that burger gets horny.
Or maybe it’s actually
hunger that begets the
horny. The latter fact has

been said to be the primary
cause of paranoia, which
can also beget perversion,
and exponentially. Rather
than confront the elephant

in the middle of one of your
home’s most primary room,
one must burst resolutely
from one’s closet. This will
always be such a relief. While

we are at it, we might as
well make this one long
joke about how I cannot
read my own writing.
Oh, a nonsense poem,

of course! That’s why!
(Damn right, that’s why!).
(The shift in tone seemed
dangerous, but abstract
enough?) Berceuse,

Beetlejuice, Beelzebub.
Don’t look now but it
appears he’s lost his
f(pl)ace. Oh, no!
That was not Jane

Fonda that he wadded
up and threw away
hours earlier, but the
one he’s now making
up as he goes along.

Hot dog! (What a ding
dong!) What a shame.
Anomaly upon anomaly.
He has paused for a while,
imagining he’s underwater,

petting a small octopus.
They are quirky animals
and appreciate love just
like the next guy, you
know? Sue me if you’ve

heard this one before.
Well. Scratch that. Tell
ya what, you can take me
for all that I’m worth if
you every hear it again.